Something Like Friendship
by Cececat
Summary: "Or, the peculiar tale of a how a certain Groupie and Domestic got to know each other quite well". Magenta is forced to share her room with a cheerful, glittery person named Columbia. Though she all but hates the girl at first, Magenta soon begins to care about this odd creature. Rated 'M' for adult themes and some implied (?) adult situations. (Please Read & Review!)
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own _The Rocky Horror Picture Show._**

 **A/N: The last few stories I've begun have been awful. Hopefully this isn't.**

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When that glittery, cheerful creature had first appeared in the castle Magenta wasn't pleased. She hadn't left the castle as of then, so she'd never run into any of this planet's inhabitants. And now she was glad of this.

If this creature called 'Columbia' was perfectly average Earthling, Magenta couldn't understand how their primitive planet managed to function. The high-pitched voice and annoying cheerfulness distracted Magenta from whatever she'd happened to be doing when the creature wanted to talk to her. For some reason, on this strange planet, the people would often have conversations about the weather and other pointless things.

Stating the obvious seemed to be a waste of time.

Another thing that made this Earth person strange was her hair. It happened to be a most peculiar shade of pink! The only Earth-people Magenta had ever see before Columbia happened to be from black and white films. It was impossible to tell what shade someone's hair is when they aren't in color. But, then again, this creature also didn't have eyebrows. And she was much thinner than many of the people in the films.

The first week she'd been at the castle, Columbia had slept in either the Master's bedroom or one of the guest rooms. After that, she'd been told that she'd be staying in Magenta's room. The moment she found out this news, the creature called Columbia ran to tell her 'friend'.

"I'm going to be sleeping in your room now! Isn't that exiting?" Columbia exclaimed.

Magenta didn't even bother to look up from the magazine she was reading. "Hmm."

"So... we're roommates, aren't we?"

"I suppose," Magenta replied coolly.

"That's cool. My older sis- the one who went to college- says you become best friends with your roommate. Of course, that's at college. I'm not sure if it's the same... but I'm sure we'll end up very close!"

To Magenta's amusement, the girl didn't seem to realize how suggestive that sounded.

"Is that so?" she replied, sounding much more calm than she was.

That lively girl would be poor Magenta's roommate. Oh, what a terrible fate to be assigned... for both of them. Of course, Columbia didn't realize that Magenta found her awfully annoying. So she really did look forward to sharing a room with the other girl. Later, of course, she wouldn't be so happy about it all.

That evening, Columbia returned to Magenta's room. It was a few hours after dinner by then. So late, in fact, that Magenta had at one point thought that the girl was in the Master's room. The sight of the door swinging open and that horridly cheerful girl walking in proved how wrong she'd been.

"I'm back!"

"Obviously," Magenta muttered.

Columbia then went to get dressed. Afterwards, she stood in front of Magenta's dressing table mirror and combed her short hair. As she watched the girl, Magenta couldn't help but ask a question that had been preying on her mind for a while.

"Do all of your people have hair like that?"

"What do you mean?"

"The color."

"Nobody has hair that color... I dye it!" Columbia explained, giggling.

Partially to frighten Columbia, though mostly so the glittery creature wouldn't notice her blushing in embarrassment, Magenta turned the room's only light out. It happened to be a lamp on Magenta's bedside table, so that was easy.

"Mags!" the girl's voice called out.

"My name is _Magenta_ ," she growled.

"Please, Magenta, turn the light on!" Now Columbia really sounded scared.

Rolling her eyes, Magenta did so. For a moment she pitied the creature. Then, after a moment, she reminded herself that Columbia had invaded her room. There wasn't any reason to pity someone who'd do that.

And so, Magenta didn't turn the light out until the other girl had gotten into her own bed (all the way across the room from Magenta's).

* * *

The next day, Magenta woke up first.

Such a thing wasn't odd in any way, though. After all these years as a servant, she'd gotten used to waking up to the sound of the gong rung by a downstairs-only servant. That was at about 7:45 every morning. Even after they'd left their home planet, she still woke up at that time.

But, unlike at home, the various sounds of the workday beginning were eerily absent.

She tried to suppress those fond memories, as usual. And she succeeded. So, as usual, she began to get ready for the day. But, before Magenta could even get dressed, the sight of her new roommate sleeping distracted her.

Columbia looked like a child, lying there asleep. Something about her was very cute. Magenta prided herself on her _elegant_ sexiness. It took effort to speak in just the right pitch, pull off certain outfits… and she always wore dark, elegant colors.

But this creature called Columbia was nice looking in a different way. And she looked nicer when she wasn't trying to. Her annoying voice and clumsiness distracted from the fact that she was slightly pretty.

No wonder the Master liked her; Magenta couldn't help but think… not that Magenta would ever do the awful things _he_ does to people when he 'likes' them.

The fact that this creature was called Columbia bothered Magenta. That name didn't really suit the girl. Anyway, a nickname would annoy Columbia- or so Magenta hoped.

"I shall call you…" Magenta thought about this for a while. "Pixie."

Yes, that would work well enough. Not only was Columbia thin and delicate looking, such a name also invoked images of devilish little creatures causing all sorts of trouble for people.

Smiling to herself, Magenta got dressed.

And then she went downstairs to make breakfast. The girl still asleep in Magenta's room didn't get up until a few hours later, thankfully.

* * *

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	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own _The Rocky Horror Picture Show._**

 **A/N: Hopefully this isn't too awful.**

* * *

Later that day, at about 11:30, Columbia finally awoke.

It didn't surprise her that Magenta had already gotten up. That woman seemed like the kind of person who's got a strict schedule and is very organized.

The good thing about this was Magenta didn't seem to like Columbia, and waking up in the same room as a person who finds you annoying is not pleasant. Not that Columbia really cared. If she cared about what other people thought she wouldn't have survived that long. No, she didn't care at all if people didn't like her!

Columbia got out of bed and got dressed very quickly. Though she liked to sleep in, it was nearly lunchtime. That was _too_ late.

After quickly putting on her makeup, she went right to the kitchen to find breakfast.

Unfortunately, she never even made it down the staircase. A rather shocking sight stopped her halfway down the hall.

That strange butler- or whatever he was- looked like he was eating Magenta's neck.

Columbia knew he wasn't actually eating her neck, of course. It just _looked_ like he was. The expression on Magenta's face proved that he wasn't hurting her- quite the opposite. The sight was half comical, half disturbing. Like when, as a twelve year old, Columbia almost walked in on her parents f- actually, no. Not _that_ bad.

It was the sort of thing where you can't bring yourself to look away even though you're weirded out. Like a really bad movie or something.

When she managed to tear her eyes away, she ran back to her- actually, Magenta's- room and hid for a while.

Soon enough, Magenta went back to her room for one reason or another. There she found Columbia reading a fashion magazine.

"Did that scare you, Pixie?" Magenta said viciously, wincing at how awful the nickname sounded.

"Who's 'Pixie'?" Columbia asked.

Magenta rolled her eyes, "You. I wanted to give you a terrible nickname, but it seems the name I choose isn't very good. It sounds rather stupid when actually said," Magenta explained thoughtfully. "But when I originally thought of it, it was very clever."

A strange silence fell upon them. Both of them thinking about the other.

Columbia began to worry. Why did Magenta hate her so much? In some ways, she reminded Columbia of a girl she'd gone to school with. Anna. That girl had hated Columbia- still called Laura in those days- for no good reason. Well, actually, it was because she'd told Anna a disgusting secret that (understandably) upset Anna. But Magenta didn't have any way to know about that. Did she? Oh, dear. Had she guessed? Of course, Columbia wasn't upset by any of that. Other people weren't able to upset her, no!

Or so she kept telling herself…

Magenta, on the other hand, couldn't help but wonder how that girl had settled in so easily to the room that definitely belonged to Magenta. That Earthling just lounged there on a bed that they'd added to. Just lounged there like she owned the place. It's like that Sci-Fi HoloStories (Transsexual, Transylvania's equivalent to Earth's films) that came out a year after Transylvanian scientists first picked up evidence of artificial satellites above Earth. The title – though originally in a language nothing like English- translates loosely to _Invasion of the Earth-Men._ Magenta couldn't help but see parallels between that nonsense and her own life. One's homeplanet being invaded by strange beings that physically resemble you but happen to be quite uncivilized. Of course, it was just _one_ earthling invading their house (not planet). Practically the same thing… just scaled-down a bit!

"Why did you have do invade?" Magenta asked.

A look of confusion appeared on Columbia's face. "Invade?"

"Yes. _Invade_. You showed up here and got in the way of everything. Why?"

"I didn't mean to!" Columbia replied, her voice a bit whinny.

Magenta haughtily raised an eyebrow. " _Really_?"

"Frankie brought me here. You thought I was invading… is that why you hate me?" Columbia asked nervously.

"I don't hate you," Magenta replied, to her own surprise.

Those from the planet Transsexual are, by nature, not very into lying. Or, for that matter, communicating verbally in general. Which is why sarcasm (a seemingly mystical ability which is inherited via a recessive gene- a gene that's common in Magenta's family) is considered a great talent.

And they are also more prone to accidentally blurting out the truth.

"So you don't have an undying loathing for me?" Columbia asked.

"I guess not," Magenta said thoughtfully. "I just find you annoying most of the time. And you're in my room. Only Riff was allowed in my room- and only sometimes. Except now you live here, so he's avoiding this place. But that's because you are so annoying!"

"I'll try not to be annoying," Columbia replied. "If you tell me what you find annoying."

"Well, for one thing your voice. It's high pitched. And you talk too much. Also, you're a stranger with very glittering clothes who's living in my room. That's probably the worst, since I never really got a room of my own when I lived in the servant's quarters of the palace."

"So this is basically you saying you don't like somebody else living in your room," Columbia said.

"I suppose it is…"

To Magenta's confusion, Columbia then burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?" Magenta asked.

Though the girl continued to laugh and laugh, she also explained the reason for it. "I though I'd done something really awful, or you knew some terrible secret about me! Oh, I was so worried…"

Somehow, Magenta found herself smiling. Maybe getting so annoyed about the living arrangements was a bit childish.

"Are we friends now? No more being annoyed at each other?" Columbia asked.

Magenta nodded. "I think so."

They spent practically the rest of the entire day talking together. It's odd how these things happen, isn't it?

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 **Please _Please_ Review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_**

 **A/N: Okay... this story had a good premise. So I've decided to 'restart it'. Hopefully people will still want to read it. This chapter was (mostly) already written. The next thing I'll post is totally new.**

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The next day, Magenta decided to figure out why her new friend was so paranoid. Since she's grown up on a planet of extreme honesty, Magenta couldn't help but wonder what terrible secret (or secrets) Columbia was hiding. Hopeful it wasn't some sort of awful crime.

Did the Master know what it was?

Magenta hated not knowing something he did. It scared her. Though he wouldn't have let her live here if she'd done something awful. So maybe he didn't know!

Anyway, this girl didn't seem like a criminal. Secret keeping seemed to be part of Earthling culture or something.

How funny these Earth-people are!

For breakfast, Magenta made this strange Earthling food called 'waffles'. They seemed like the sort of thing Columbia would like to eat.

Though Magenta still wasn't sure why, the Master had insisted on making her cook only Earthling foods from practically the day they arrived. This wasn't a bad thing, sine the food here was actually quite good. Now she'd begun to believe that he'd planned to bring an Earthling to the castle at some point all along.

This day, Columbia got up much earlier than yesterday: 9 o'clock.

And, this time, she found Magenta in the kitchen cooking waffles. That happened to be one of Columbia's favorite foods!

"What's this secret- or secrets- of yours?" Magenta asked, before Columbia even had the chance to speak.

"You'll think I'm a terrible person," Columbia replied sullenly.

"Probably not. But I'll never trust you unless you tell me."

Suddenly, Columbia burst into tears. "That's exactly what Anna said!"

Then, she stormed out of the room without even eating her breakfast. Magenta couldn't help but wonder who Anna was. An ex-girlfriend, maybe?

Or her sister who she'd gotten in a fight with... Columbia had a sister, didn't she?

On her way back to Magenta's room, Columbia ran into Frank. She eagerly accepted the invitation to his room (not that she really had a choice). It helped her forget what a monster she was.

As usual, he'd kicked her out of the room again he was finished with her. _Then_ she went back to Magenta's room.

As she stared in the mirror at the red lipstick marks from where he'd kissed her, she remembered something. Men in lipstick and dresses... that was in the newspaper, wasn't it? The newspaper article that ruined her life!

Maybe he was like those people. Yes, some of the men in the article did wear clothes that usually were worn by women- and did a chorus line or something while shouting at police officers.

Shouting at police. That made them bad... didn't it?

"What are you doing?" Magenta asked.

It was then that Columbia realized she'd been standing in front of the mirror for a vey long time. And that she'd been so focused on her reflection that she hadn't noticed Magenta enter the room.

 _And_ that she wore only her under clothes and a dressing gown now. She'd left the rest of her outfit in Frank's room. How awkward.

"Who's Anna?" Magenta asked. "You mentioned her earlier."

Realizing that Magenta would keep asking until she explained, Columbia gave up and explained everything…

"Anna's this girl I went to school with. We were friends... sort of. Well, I thought we were... but then, after reading an article in the newspaper, I admitted something awful to her. If those people could say it, why couldn't I?

"Anna, understandably, was horrified. Though I only implied something at first, she asked what I'd meant until I'd finally told her.

"Then I became the joke of the school. Growing up in a small town where everyone knows everything about everyone else isn't a good thing. I'd embarrassed my parents. It became a joke. I became a joke!"

"What was the article about? What awful secret did you admit?"

"The article was about a riot or something in New York. Police broke into a club for, er, people like Oscar Wilde. Most of them were, er, like Oscar Wilde. I think there were a few of the female equivalent. Whatever. The people there refused to listen to the police or something. And, to answer your second question, I liked Anna too much. I liked her the way I liked my boyfriend!"

Magenta stared at her in confusion. "So?"

"That's not how it works! Girls can't date girls, that's not right."

"This planet is more backwards than I thought," Magenta muttered. "What sort of idea is that!"

"Hmm?"

"People are people. There's not much of a difference," Magenta replied.

"So... you don't hate me?"

"No. Why would I?"

"Everyone hated me. That's why I ran away. I was just 16 at the time, and it was the summer after my second year of high school. I ended up with some stupid band because they were all guys. And I knew I was straight because they were guys."

"What's straight?" Magenta asked, genuinely confused.

"Heterosexual."

"What?"

"Girl who only likes guys, or guy who only liked girls."

Then, Magenta laughed. "This proves my species is more advanced than yours. People don't let silly things get in the way of relationships. Anyone can date anyone they want- as long as they're about the same age. Of course, only some couples can have offspring... but that helps keep us from overpopulating the planet!"

Columbia decided to change the topic slightly, focus on Magenta's life instead of her own. "Will you and Riff ever have children?"

Suddenly, Magenta looked a bit sad. "No. We can't... inbreeding often produces severe birth defects and we don't want to take that chance."

"Inbreeding... you're _related_?"

"Siblings. When I said people can date anyone they want to I meant it. There's really nothing wrong with it, when you think about it," Magenta replied nonchalantly.

They stood there in silence for a moment.

"I'd like to visit this planet of yours one day. It sounds nice," Columbia said thoughtfully.

Her friend smiled at that. Maybe they could take Columbia with them when they went home.

Of course, they'd need to teach her a few things first. How to behave in front of the queen, who not to talk to, how to dance the time warp… but they weren't supposed to go back for at least a year or so. That meant those things could wait.

Or so Magenta thought.

* * *

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	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I should probably thank those people ( Guest, FireandBloodandKittens, and Emoji1) who reviewed chapters 1 or 2. while this story was 'paused'. Hopefully you'll still be reading this. You're all the reason I decided to start this up again! :)**

 **Hopefully it's good enough...**

* * *

The next few weeks went well for Columbia and Magenta.

Though she'd had tons of work when she'd been a servant at the royal palace, Mags didn't actually have much here. She still _pretended_ to, though. Too much time near Columbia wasn't healthy for one's eardrums (thanks to the girl's piercingly high-pitched voice).

It didn't ever occur to Columbia that her friend was avoiding her. No, she was too busy following Frank around… or doing things in Frank's bed (with Frank) that Magenta didn't want to picture… or thinking about Frank while staring pointlessly at the ceiling…

They only actually saw each other at meals and at night (usually). If they'd been near each other _too_ much they would've argued. Columbia loved celebrity gossip and Magenta could discuss philosophy for hours. Columbia was childlike and cheerful, Magenta vampirish and broody. They couldn't stand too much of the other's personality at the same time. Only in small doses, one might say.

Of course, it's said that all good things must come to an end. For Columbia and Magenta, the 'end' came in the form of the terrible result of Frank ordering pizza one day…

* * *

Nobody really knew what Frank wanted pizza for. He was a very picky eater. But _everyone_ knew that arguing with Frank wasn't a good idea. It caused the worst headaches, for one thing.

He's just the sort of person you can't reason with.

So, with Columbia's help, he ordered pizza. She seemed quite eager to help him, as usual. That's one thing Magenta just didn't understand.

The conversation Columbia and Frank had had about it all was entertaining, at least.

"Magenta! Have you made dinner yet?" he'd asked.

"No."

"Good! I would've thrown it out if you had. You see, I've decided that I shall try an Earthling delicacy that consists of bread, sauce-of-tomato, and fermenting milk of non-sentient mammal, and other edibles matter which is often preserved meat."

Columbia looked confused for a moment. "Oh… you mean pizza?"

"Why, yes," he replied, smiling. "It's most peculiar, yet beloved by many citizens of your planet… _according_ to my research."

"Oh. So you want me to help you order it? " Columbia asked, knowing that Frank still wasn't good with telephones.

"Very good, Columbia!" Frank said cheerfully.

He patted her on the head, as if she were an adorable little pet who'd figured out a tricky riddle or performed a clever trick. From his deranged point of view that's exactly what she was. This annoyed Magenta, but she managed to keep silent.

"Should I show you what to say into the phone?" asked Columbia, eager to help.

"Of _course_. You're quite good with this technology," Frank said.

Columbia _glowed_ with joy at this simple remark, or so it seemed. Any time he 'praised' her she behaved as if it he'd awarded her some sort of medal. If he stopped saying 'good job' when she did _anything_ she'd probably fall into a terrible depression. Like any addiction, it really wasn't healthy.

This dependency thing might've been accidental, since Frank was a bit 'eccentric'. Eccentric! What an odd word. That's what one calls a crazy person with money or political power (an ordinary citizen is just plain old 'crazy').

But Magenta had a feeling it was intentional. As she watched them call this 'pizza place', the Master seemed to be controlling Columbia. But he wasn't ordering her around. That was too easy. He was acting like silly, meaningless things were a big deal. He'd trained her the same way Magenta trained her dogs.

"So! For dinner tonight we shall eat pizza with pepperoni. That's the most popular sort. A delivery boy will bring us the food and eat with us if I like him enough."

"No, Frankie. He doesn't eat with us. He just brings the food and we pay him," Columbia explained.

"Hmm. Well, he will stay here and eat with us if I want him to!" Frank told them.

"But-"

" _Columbia._ "

"He'll stay here if you need him to."

"Very good, darling," he said, petting her head.

Columbia smiled brightly.

Then, without warning, he left the room. Columbia's expression dulled.

"Columbia. Vhat is vrong vith you? The Master is training you like some sort of freakish animal. You're addicted to him, thanks to his… training. What happens when he leaves you?"

"Oh, but he'll never leave me," Columbia replied cheerfully.

Then, she too left the room. Riff and Mags stood there alone now.

"Why do you bother?" Riff asked. "Why do you care for that foolish Earthling?"

"I'm not sure. She's just so… helpless. People of this planet were mean to her over petty things, and she's become too trusting. Vhy does he do zis sort of zing?"

"Just be glad it's not to one of us," Riff pointed out.

" _We_ are to clever for that sort of trick," Mags replied sullenly.

* * *

Smiling to herself, Columbia walked into the front hallway. That's where the door was. She'd decided to wait there until the delivery boy showed up. Though it sounded silly it would please Frankie. Lately, pleasing Frankie had become more and more important.

He was nicer than the guys in the bands she'd known. So much nicer. They'd just thought of her as a pretty face. Frank said all sorts of sweet things to her. And he bought her all sorts of nice clothes to wear.

As far as she knew, he'd never leave her. Why would he?

She loved him. He _couldn't_ leave.

* * *

 **Please Review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_**

 **A/N: Sorry I'm posting this too fast... if you (O random persons who probably don't exist!) are even reading it...**

* * *

After only a few minutes, Columbia heard the doorbell ring. So, she quickly opened the door.

There stood a young man in his early 20s. He wore the attire of the most stereotypical low-class, good-for-nothing, 50s greaser-delinquent. Though it was the early 1970s at that point, he apparently hadn't been notified. He just looked so… Columbia didn't know what to call it.

"Hi, I'm Eddie. One pepperoni pizza?"

Columbia nodded. "Yes."

Then, he held out his hand. Oh dear, he wanted the money….

"Oh, um, Frank's got the money. It's in the kitchen!" she squeaked.

Nervously, she dragged him towards the dining room. At that point he knew not of the madness he would encounter that evening. If he had he would've left right then and there. But he thought Columbia was kinda hot.

Later, he decided that Frank was _much_ hotter.

* * *

After dinner, Columbia was horrified to find out that the 1950s guy would be sleeping with Frankie. That wasn't good. Hopefully it was a one-time thing. That would be less awful…

She went to. There sat here roommate, 'reading' a magazine that was (knowing Mags) actually porn.

"Veren't you supposed to be in ze Master's room?" Magenta asked.

Then, she noticed tears on her friend's childlike face.  
Ah, he'd bedded that pizza-boy instead of Columbia. Of course the poor thing was upset. This made Magenta pity the girl even more.

"Cruel as it sounds, I told you so. The Master isn't the sort of person for lasting relationships," she told her friend with a weary sigh.

"Mags… I _love_ him."

"I know. But that's what happens, Dolly."

"Who's 'Dolly'?" Columbia asked, though she knew the answer.

"It's your new nickname. Ha. It's like when I called you 'Pixie', but in a nice way. You aren't an alien invading. You're my dear Dolly and I'll protect you from the Master at nearly any cost."

Neither of them spoke for a moment. A look of horror had appeared on Columbia's face. And then she finally spoke.

"Mags… that's creepy as _shit_."

"Oh. But you need some kind of nickname…"

"I don't think so."

"You _do_. 'Columbia' isn't a good name. I don't like how my mouth feels when I say it. You need a new name. Something that nobody else calls you, though. How about 'Clicky'?"

Columbia wrinkled her nose. "Why?"

"Your dance shoes go 'click' when you dance."

"How about… 'Kitty'? That sounds like 'Clicky' and is less awkward."

After a moment of pondering this, Mags finally nodded. "Fine."

"Then I get to call you something. What about Doc?"

"I'm not a doctor."

"Neither is _the_ Doctor. He's from a British TV show called _Doctor Who_."

"Oh?"

"He's a human-like alien, like you. And he's cool."

It amused her, how Earthlings claimed that people from other planets looked like _them._ They looked quite a bit like _her_ planet's people… not the other was around. But the nickname still worked.

"Fine. I'm Doc and you're Kitty. Agreed?"

"Agreed."

They sat there for a moment and stared triumphantly at each other. Then, Columbia frowned again. Apparently Magenta's efforts to cheer the girl had failed.

"What's vrong?" Mags asked, temporarily using her odd accent.

Columbia didn't seem to notice. "All I can think about is the boys! Right now, it just seems so wrong. I was supposed to be Frankie's tonight. Now that stupid pizza delivery boy has replaced me. What will I do a about how stupid guys are?"

"Ignore them. You don't always need guys. Girls are good enough sometimes, Kitty."

"Really, Doc?" Columbia replied, giggling.

"Yes."

Without further ado, Mags kissed Columbia.

That felt strange. Columbia hadn't ever kissed another girl before. It was as much fun as kissing a boy, Columbia realized. Almost _more_ fun. Though that was probably because it was a new feeling. The novelty of it hadn't worn off.

To her annoyance, Mags moved away much to soon.

"Again, Kitty?"

"Please."

So, they kissed again. This time Columbia got a bit too excited and grabbed her friend around the waist, pulling her on top of her. Both began to giggle then.

"Kitty… isn't it _fun…_ "

"Mmm."

"Is that really all you can say now?" Mags purred.

The other girl giggled and pulled Magenta closer. The only reason she wasn't begging for more was that she couldn't really breathe, and not just because she was being squished slightly by the woman lying on top of her.

"I get it. I _understand_ …"

Indeed, she knew exactly what the pink-haired girl wanted. And of _course_ she went along with it. Columbia was quite pretty… for an Earthling. Not that Mags really cared. Why would she care about a boring Earthling?

Much later, as they were falling asleep, Magenta began to wonder what she'd done to the girl. Well… she knew what she'd literally done. What she _meant_ was what would Columbia think when she woke up in the wrong bed with that dreadful hole in her shirt? The shirt would need replacing, for one thing. And the poor fool might have another 'freak-out', like she'd had when Anna and everyone heard the 'dreadful secret'.

"What _have_ I done?" Magenta mused.

At least she knew whom she'd done.

* * *

 **A/N: Should I change the rating to 'M'? Also, speaking of things that should maybe be M-rated, as I wrote that last time I couldn't help but think of an infamous quote from _Titus Andronicus_ (Shakespeare's first play): "Villain, I have _done_ thy mother"**

 **There's a reason nobody performs that disturbing _thing_ anymore...**

 **Ye Gods, how irrelevant.**

* * *

 **Please Review!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thanks for reviewing, Little Collie Lovett! I'm glad people are still reading and enjoying this story!**

 **Also, I'm changing to rating to 'M' because you aren't even supposed to have implied 'adult situations' if it's rated 'T'. The last chapter probably should've been 'M'. Also, the characters are going to start discussing certain things a lot more as part of Columbia's character development. Right now she sort of resembles me quite a bit in the way she thinks about/talks about certain things (young women getting involved romantically/sexually with each other). Hopefully neither of us (the character Columbia or me) will be so weird about things by the time I'm done writing this.**

* * *

As Magenta predicted, Columbia was _not_ happy when she woke up the next morning. At least Mags had woken up first, so the squeal of terror didn't startle her too much.

"What happened?" Columbia hissed.

Magenta raised an eyebrow. "Isn't it obvious?"

"Why did that happen? I'm a good girl. Though I did fall in love with Anna – except I didn't, 'cause I'm not that sort of person – I didn't mean to. I'm not… ugh, I can't even say it. I'm very straight, you see. I'd never be that sort of person…"

While she protested so furiously, she leaned against Magenta because it made her feel safer. Better. That only made her look even _more_ 'unstraight'.

"You're a strange little creature, Kitty. It's not that big of a deal. Why must earthlings be so closed-minded?" Mags asked.

"I'm not closed minded _or_ that sort of person. Just because I sleep with a guy who wears girly clothes doesn't mean I like girls. He's clearly a guy once you take away the corsets and panties. Since he often wears only woman's _underclothes_ one can still easily tell he's a guy. Yes, very obviously… especially when the panties he wears are too tight…"

Magenta gagged. "Ew. Please don't say that ever again. The visual is just… no. Didn't need that."

Then, suddenly, they both burst into near-hysterical laughter. They'd become the strangest of friends. For the first time Magenta began to think that maybe she should spend more time with this pathetic Earthling girl. It would give her something to do when she didn't have any work to do and her brother did.

That morning she decided to stay in her room a bit longer. Cleaning and cooking could wait a while.

"Seriously, though. Why did we do what we did last night?" Columbia asked

"We wanted to and there wasn't any reason _not_ to," Magenta replied simply.

Though Columbia hated to admit it, her friend was right. But she didn't want to think about how nice it had felt. She needed to distract herself.

So, she got out of bed and walked towards the closet where she kept her clothes. There she picked out a very glittery outfit and walked toward the bathroom to change. Before she even took off the clothes she wore then, she looked in the mirror. The girl staring back at her looked awful. Her eye makeup was a mess, her hair sticking up, and...

"There a _hole_ in my _shirt_ so big that you can see – MAGENTA! _WHY_?" she shrieked, her squeaky voice now high enough to shatter glass (or so it seemed).

Magenta laughed. "What do you mean, why? So what if there's a hole in your shirt. Everyone's already seen your tits. Well… except my brozer, maybe. Either way, I didn't do zat… I don't _zink_."

"You did! You did! You did! Who else could've?" Columbia shouted.

Again, Magenta laughed. "Vhy would I tear a hole in your shirt?"

Columbia then calmed down slightly. "I don't know. I'm just so freaked-out anyway that everything upsets me. Ugh, I'd better get dressed now."

And she did.

* * *

Later, when Mags was finally cooking breakfast, her brother cornered her.

"The Master's latest project has failed, beloved sister. He blames that boy Eddie. So I'm not in trouble and I get the day off so he can mope around the house. I know I promised to take you out to town at some point. Shall we go today?"

Magenta nodded eagerly. "Yes, dear. It vill be good for us to get some time alone."

"Especially away from that Earthling girl."

"Oh, be _nice_. She's actually quite sweet once you get to know her."

"The Master is training her to be dependant on him, you know," Riff warned her.

"I know. And I'm trying to help her not be!" Mags replied.

He kissed her on the forehead. They then did that secret handshake of theirs. 'Elbow sex', as the Master rudely called it.

Then, Riff kisses her goodbye and left so that she could finish cooking. She'd made waffles again, since Columbia liked them so much. And the Master didn't mind them. In fact, they were one of the few Earthling foods he'd eat. Ever since the previous evening pizza was one of those foods.

Mags hated being able to cook _only_ food he liked. She hated most things about him - _especially_ his mistreatment of Columbia. It was almost worse than when she or Riff was scolded. He wasn't threatening her with violence to get her to do what he wanted. Instead, he was emotionally manipulating her into it.

It was twisted, wrong, and Mags hated it.

* * *

 **Please Review!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I don't own _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_**

 **A/N: Hopefully my portrayal of various characters makes sense. I'm starting to portray Frank as a bit of a sociopath (I wasn't really sure how to write him before). That means he'll be in more chapters... though he'll also be shown unsympathetically. That's partially thanks to a conversation I had, with a fellow _Rocky Horror_ fan, at the comic book store. **

* * *

The next day, things went back to 'normal'. Nobody mentioned of Eddie (who'd left) or what happened between Columbia and Magenta. The latter was still something of a secret. Though they still used their new nicknames for each other when alone. And they were much closer... _cuddlier_ when not able to be around their respective 'lovers'.

They also spent more of their time together.

As time went on, Magenta became more attached to the Earthling. She no longer spent so much time cleaning the castle's many. This was due to the fact that she often cleaned places out of sheer boredom. That was practically her greatest talent, cleaning. Columbia tap-danced and Magenta cleaned.

Of course, if she ever felt like it, she could probably find a much more interesting hobby. At least, Columbia thought so.

"You should take up dancing or something," the pink-haired girl said, as they sat in their room painting each other's nails.

"You know I can't stand the click-clack of the shoes, Kitty. And I doubt zat ze Master vould approve," Mags replied darkly.

Columbia rolled her eyes. "I may look like a fool, but I've learned a few things by now. One of them is that 'ze Master' only really cares about things that directly involve him. So, as long as it doesn't bother him it's safe enough."

Magenta still didn't look too enthusiastic in it all. "I don't like ze idea of dancing. Don't you think there's something else I could learn or do?"

"Singing?"

"No."

"Hmm… writing?"

"Vriting?"

That sounded a bit more exciting. She could picture herself doing that. Writing a story about her life or about a fictional life. How exciting!

"Yeah, writing. You could write a book!"

"About vhat? A fictionalized version of my life?"

Columbia nodded cheerfully. "Yes. I could help, if you'd like… though I might be too busy sometimes."

They were both quite excited about the project. They began to brainstorm different ideas. Then they heard a terrible shouting…

"I'M BORED!"

"Oh _dear_ ," Mags muttered.

"We'll have to work on our book later, won't we?" Columbia said _too_ cheerfully.

She liked Frank quite a bit. That really wasn't good. Of course, she didn't see the problem with any of it. Frankie at least _seemed_ nicer than most of the guys she used to know.

After wandering through the castle's many confusing hallways for only a few minutes, she found him. Though he'd shouted with disturbing rage only moments before he now looked like his normal, cheerful self.

"I was just telling Riff Raff here about how I wanted to watch this film. It's called _Hercules_ , and it stars a bodybuilder named Steve Reeves."

"Oh."

"You can go away now, darling," he said.

"Oh."

"Why are you still standing there?" he asked, raising any eyebrow.

"Frankie… I thought you liked me."

"You entertain me sometimes, yes, but right now I want you to go away now. I want to watch this movie and Riff was setting it up for me."

By then Columbia was crying. Frank was rejecting her. All those lies Magenta told about him were true. He wasn't a good guy after all.

"Why is she crying? It's messing up her makeup, and I don't like how that looks. Why does she do that?" Frank said to Riff, suddenly looked genuinely confused.

And he actually was genuinely confused about why she'd be crying. That was the trouble.

"Because, Master, you've upset her."

"Oh. Can you take her back to her room and out of my way, then?"

Before that could happen, Columbia ran back to her room. When she got there she collapsed onto her bed, still crying.

"What's wrong?" Magenta asked.

"He just… sent me away. Like he didn't care anymore."

"Of course he did. You are a toy to him. Something to trick, to play with… until he finds something else to entertain him. We all are, actually. That's why my brother and I hate him. If something won't be useful . Not to mention he doesn't have a great sense of long

"He used to compliment me all the time.

"That was how he got you to rely on him. If he says nice things to you, you do what he says. A lover who protests or fears isn't as fun according to his twisted worldview. So he made you like him with tricks and lies," Magenta explained.

"How do you know…?"

"I've know him for a terribly long time. It didn't take that long to figure him out."

"When did you first meet him, Doc?" Columbia asked.

"Years ago. His mother – a monstrous fiend of a woman – made my brother and I the Master's 'private' servants. Even though our planet is generally accepting of any kind of couple, she's a bit more prejudiced than most people. Pretty much anyone who won't be able to produce children she doesn't like. And, admittedly, Riff and I were pretty obvious about our relationships as teenagers. Constantly kissing in public and everything. Of course, that isn't too unusual…"

Magenta trailed off, too lost in old memories to remember she'd been talking to Columbia.

So, Columbia walked into the bathroom and washed her smeared makeup off. Then she reapplied it. Many guys she'd know had broken up with her quite rudely. None of them were that nice to her in the first place. She knew it wouldn't be easy to see Frank as the monster he was.

Hopefully she'd learn soon.

* * *

 **A/N: I've got a totally random question for anyone who wants to/can answer it. It was a result of a conversation with some guys at the comic book store I often go to, to watch people play Magic the Gathering or play it myself. I'm basically the only girl there most of the time. And the guys (at least those I know) are all straight.**

 **None of us could figure out _why_ people find the character Frank N. Furter is considered so attractive. He's just kind of creepy and weird. One person I know even thinks Frank is supposed to be scary, _not_ sexy. Does anyone actually find him physically attractive, or is it just the whole 'one hell of a lover' thing that makes him appealing?**

* * *

 **Please Review!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I don't own _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_**

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 **A/N: Thanks you so much for reviewing, FireandBloodandKittens! **

**So... the chapters of the story that I've written so far take place in about 1971.** **That makes Columbia 18, since she was 16 by the time she read an article about riots that were in June 1969 (?). I think I'll continue the story until the movie (November of '74) with a few time-skips to make that easier (and possible add an original character or two). Hopefully I'll figure out a proper 'story arc' soon, but for now the plot will be more of a 'day in the life' sort of thing...**

* * *

When it was time for dinner Columbia didn't go downstairs. The fact that the usually cheerful Earthling was still sulking worried Magenta. It wasn't good that the Master had rejected the girl (even though it wasn't forever). Since those of this planet seemed to be emotionally weaker than the people back home, this would be especially bad.

Lots of crying was to be expected, Mags realized. And, if things were bad enough, horrid poetry would be written.

"What should I do?" Columbia asked after hours of silence.

"About what?"

"All this! I haven't got a life outside of here. My entire hometown _and_ extended family hates me, I don't know anybody else who has an actual house. This is the closest thing I've had to a real home…"

Though the words were comically melodramatic, Columbia said them with such sincerity that it was truly saddening. Mags was silent for a moment. What was the proper reply to such a thing? The most honest response, maybe…

"Only the Master actually dislikes you. You've got me to look after you. And my brother doesn't really mind being around you. Probably… either way, you could stay here."

Then, to Magenta's shock, Columbia hugged her.

"Thank you, Magenta! It's good that somebody's on my side. Oh, we'll be the best of friends forever… like Auntie Mame and Vera Charles!"

"Like Laura and Carmilla."

"The Three Musketeers… er, minus one!"

"Holmes and Watson."

"Robby and Altaira!"

"Frodo and Sam."

By then, Columbia was running out of ideas. "Like… Kirk and Spock!"

This reference was lost on Magenta. As an alien from a civilization space travel was ordinary she wasn't really into highly inaccurate adventure stories. So she'd never seen _Forbidden Planet_ or _Star Trek_. At least Columbia was confused, too, by what Magenta had said.

"You know, I haven't heard of a few of the people you listed," Columbia said thoughtfully. "Everyone knows who Holmes and Watson are, but what about Carmilla and Laura?"

"They're from a book," her friend replied simply.

"I used to read all sorts o' books… then Anna happened and I haven't gotten the chance to do anything intelligent," Columbia replied darkly.

It disgusted Magenta that these Earthlings. This girl might've been some sort of genius professor if she hadn't been bullied out of her hometown. Those monsters!

"What's wrong?" Columbia asked, noticing Magenta's worrisome expression.

"Nothing."

"Doc… I _know_ something's wrong."

Magenta smiled sadly slightly at the use of that odd nickname. That earthling was far too sweet to be treated the way she had.

"I'm just thinking about how strange this planet is. You said that almost everyone in your hometown was mean because you loved the girl called Anna. That's not very sensible."

"Who said humans are sensible?"

That's when Magenta realized something. Columbia wasn't actually stupid. She had an annoying voice and acted rather ditzy much of the time… yet she sometimes would say very philosophical things – or so it seemed.

"Columbia… before you ran away, what sort of grades did you get in school?"

"Er, average," Columbia replied nervously.

"Hmm. I was thinking… do you think we should continue your schooling?"

" _What_?" Columbia shrieked, her voice even more high pitched than usual.

"Well… one day you'll need to get a good job to pay rent, buy food. You've only got about ten years left of youth left, if what Riff says about Earthling life spans is correct, and you're going to need to be able to fend for yourself at some point. A proper Education is the key to a stable career in basically anything."

They sat there in silence for a moment, neither really sure what to say. Then it dawned on Magenta that they were sitting on her bed. That was rather symbolic – at least, in her mind. Now Mags thought of Columbia as something more than a mildly annoying thing that should stay on its side of the room and Columbia wasn't awfully scared of Magenta.

"Maybe we aren't friends then. You _are_ a lot older than me," Columbia said, finally. "And you've been looking after me lately, though I haven't been looking after you."

Mags raised an eyebrow. "So?"

"I think we're more like family. Friends last a very long time. But family… that's forever, whether ya like it or not. You're like a mother, I guess. Especially now that you're trying "

" _What_?" It was Magenta's turn to be shocked.

"Don't deny it, you've been really caring for me. I only realize it now because you deciding to make sure I get a proper education makes you sound like my mother used to. Though in a nice way, of course, since you're better than-" Suddenly, as something weird occurred to her, her eyes widened in horror. "Oh _God_. By that logic, Riff Raff is my dad…"

"Is there a problem with that? I think he'd make a wonderful father," Magenta replied.

"Well… it's just that he's a bit creepy."

"My brother is _not_ creepy," Magenta growled. "And if he is, never say so in front of me."

Though Magenta hadn't meant to sound mean, Columbia was clearly scared. Magenta knew that that wasn't a good thing. Before she could apologize, however, Columbia spoke:

"Maybe friends is a better title then. Or sisters, perhaps."

"Either way, we can still use our nicknames, _kitty_."

Then, they both began to laugh quite wildly. Far too soon, though, they heard a knock at the door.

"Come in!" Mags called.

Slowly, the door opened. It creaked slightly when he did, like all doors. None of the doors in the house creak otherwise. He referred to this talent as a 'knack'. This is one reason Columbia feared him. In her opinion, he belonged on an episode of _The Addams Family_. Riff Raff sure was creepy.

"What's wrong, darling?" Magenta asked.

"Nothing, beloved. Though I'd that you could stay in my room for the night now that the Earthling isn't so upset. The Master is distracted?"

"He really seems to like Steve Reeves films. I have a feeling he'll be watching all of those we have a copy of. So, yes. _Very_ distracted."

Mags then walked toward the door, though paused slightly right by the door. Then she turned toward Columbia.

"Please don't go looking for me, Columbia. If you find Riff's room and walk in without knocking this evening… you will see things you really don't want to see."

At the mere suggestion, Columbia was already picturing Mags and her brother doing a variety of things. Since (thanks to her imagination) Columbia wasn't really able to reply politely she just stared awkwardly at her friend for a moment.

"I'll probably be back by morning, Kitty," Magenta said.

"Goodbye," Columbia squeaked.

Then the redhead and her creepy brother left. Since there really wasn't anything/anyone to do at that point, Columbia decided to put on her pajamas and went to bed. As she drifted to sleep she realized that the pajamas she'd chosen were the ones Mags tore a hole in. By then she didn't really have the energy to care.

* * *

 **Please Review!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I don't own _The Rocky Horror Picture Show._**

* * *

 **A/N: As in many of my stories, Transsexual Transylvania is _Rome. In. Spaaaaaaaaaace_! Also, there's Latin in this chapter. Badly written Latin, I'm sorry to say. Though my weird 14-year-old brother is all but fluent in that very dead language. Lucky bastard knows _everything_... **

**Also, let's see if you notice/get the 'joke' in** **German...**

* * *

Far too early in the morning, Magenta shook her roommate awake. The poor thing wasn't used to waking up in such a way.

"Mehrschlaf," Columbia muttered groggily.

"What?"

Slowly, Columbia sat up. "Just nonsense that basically means 'I want more sleep'. What _time_ is it?"

"Eight," Mags replied simply.

This confused Columbia. "Breakfast is usually at ten or so. Why are you getting me up this early?"

"I thought I could begin lesson today. Remember what I was saying about you needing a proper education?"

Columbia remembered. Though that didn't make much sense. This was the same woman who'd accused her of being an alien invader not so long ago…

"Er, what sort of education? Stuff like Math, History, Sciences…?"

"Mostly just Literature. That's the only earthling thing I've every taken a liking to," Mags explained.

Columbia pouted. "'Literature' is the only Earth thing you like. What about me?"

"I've sort of started to think of you as one of my people. Anyway, you're a lot more like us than most Earthlings.

Then, a strange silence fell over them. Magenta didn't move away, as Columbia expected. Instead she just sat at the foot of Columbia's bed and looked awfully worried.

"Wanting to teach me about literature not the only reason you got me up at this hour," Columbia said after a while.

Magenta sighed wearily. "Ze Master's got a few people visiting soon. They should arrive sometime today, actually. Since you know nothing of our customs I thought that maybe teaching you some of that might help. Strictly speaking, we aren't supposed to make any sort of First Contact without formal orders from Queen Augusta herself."

"Er, 'First Contact'?"

"Announcing to the people of a foreign planet that we're aliens. For now, we're supposed to act just like we belong here," Mags explained. Sometimes she forgot how little this Earth-creature actually knew.

"You aren't doing the best job," Columbia pointed out. "I love him half to death and all that, but Frankie is the hedonistic personification of lust… and you're basically a vampire in dark-colored clothes nobody wears and then we've got your brother, Mr. Igor. He is creepier as hell - don't deny it! Thought that isn't really a bad thing to some people, you're living in a gothic castle only a few miles away from a really conservative town. We're like something out of _The Addams Family_ , Doc. Actually; we're basically an R-rated gayer version of the Addamses themselves. _We aren't blending in at all_!"

Magenta sighed. "Whatever. It's not we ever leave, anyway. But that's not the point. You must learn enough about how thing are back home. One day you must walked along the moonlit beaches and see the stars and moons shine above you…"

"You really miss it, don't you?" Columbia whispered, suddenly quite sad.

"Kitty, I- yes, I miss it terribly. Though my life wasn't even very good, I still would do anything to be. There's no place like it." Her dark expression then softened slightly. "At least my half sister will be with the group that's going to be visiting. She's a sweet little dear."

"You have a half-sister? How come ya never told me?"

"Because. There are lots of things that I won't ever tell you."

Columbia knew that prying wouldn't be a good idea. So, she (sort of) changed the subject.

"Doc… please teach me all I need to know for when the visitors show up."

Then, Magenta smiled slightly. Columbia's apparent eagerness to learn about home really cheered her up. Oh, she couldn't wait to tell Columbia everything!

"Where should I start… ah, yes. Greetings."

"Greetings?" Columbia asked, even though she knew the word's meaning already. It just seemed nicer somehow to ask questions and pretend to not know anything so that her roommate felt clever.

Indeed, "What you say when you meet a person. A formal greeting in our native tongue is 'Avete'. Or 'Salve', It doesn't really matter too much."

"Salve," Columbia repeated slowly.

"Very good. Now, it's polite to bow slightly to your superiors – I'll explain the class system in a moment – and shake hands with equals." Then she noticed Columbia's confused expression. "Maybe I should explain the class system now."

"Yeah…"

"The lowliest are those called _Genus Alienus_. They're people with basically no rights and are often from other planets. That's what you are at this point. Then we've got the _Genus Servus_. That's servants an working class people – what my darling brother and I are _now_."

The last sentence she said with such terrible bitterness that Columbia felt rather uneasy. Luckily, she soon calmed and continued the 'lesson'.

"Next is _Genus Mangus_ or nobility. They are either governors of various regions or courtiers – aka decadent fools who blindly obey the current ruler. That who we were before… anyway. The most powerful class is the ruling class. _Genus Rex_ they're called. Since he's a prince, the Master is one of them."

"Can you tell me about the visitors and what level they're at?" Columbia asked.

"Yes. There's five of them, you see. Two from the _Genus Servus_ , one from _Genus Mangus_ , and two from _Gensus Rex._ The servants don't really matter, and nobles are two idiots named Gaius and Caius."

"What about the, um, 'Rex people'?"

Magenta laughed a mirthless laugh. "Well, that's a fool whose name translates to Lord de'Lordy and my half-sister Drusilla Julius."

" _WHAT_?"

* * *

 **A/N: Hopefully this chapter wasn't stupid and/or out of character. Also, I really hope that the Latin didn't annoy people...**

 **Please Review!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I don't own _The Rocky Horror Picture Show._ **

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**A/N: Sorry that this chapter is so short. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to write much more today, and wanted to post what I could.**

 **To** **FireandBloodandKittens** **: Yes, De Lordy is from ROTOQ. I thought that including some characters from it might be a good idea since a subplot this story might involving Frank's family and their homeplanet. In RHPS he's not the son of a queen, so ROTOQ is at least sort of canon in any timeline where he _is_ the prince. And, yes, I did get the rest of the review/message.**

* * *

Columbia was shocked by what she'd heard. Why hadn't Magenta mentioned all that before? As if she knew what Columbia was thinking, Magenta began to explain.

"Look, I don't like to talk about it… though I suppose I might as well tell you practically everything now. Remember how I said that most people don't mind incestuous relationships as long as there isn't any offspring? And that the Queen is unusually strict about such things?"

At that Columbia nodded.

"Well, she only really got rid of our titles because we're the children of her husband's lover. If we were ordinary citizens – even those that lived near her – she would've just turned a blind eye. But she already despised our family. Mother was murdered not long after giving birth to Drusilla and King was poisoned only months later. Father being stripped of his titles – a nobleman and a respected general – was also part of her little revenge scheme. He killed himself out of honor soon after. So all she had left to punish was my brother and I."

"Gee, Mags…" Columbia said softly. "I'm so s-"

Magenta scowled. " _Don't_ say 'sorry' or anything similar. That's one of those funny Earth-customs I never understood. Apologizing for something that didn't even involve you – what's the purpose of _that_?"

"Saying 'sorry' when something happens to someone is different than apologizing for what you've personally done. Saying 'sorry' when something bad happens to a person is like saying 'I wish I could've stopped that' or 'I wish that hadn't happened," her friend explained, smiling slightly.

"Oh."

They sat there in silence for a moment. Finally, Mags stood up and walked toward their bedroom's door.

"I'm going to make breakfast now, Kitty. You'd better get dressed now… and maybe come downstairs so that we can keep talking about the… _visitors_ ," Magenta said.

"Okay."

Without further ado, the redheaded woman left the room.

Slowly, Columbia got out of bed. By then she was perfectly awake, though it was still too early by her usual standards. But getting up sounded like a good idea for once. And so, she wandered over to dresser where most of her clothes were kept. Then she picked out the nicest clothes she could find. It wouldn't be good to wear something shabby with royalty visiting!

When, as she looked in the bathroom mirror, Columbia realized which pajamas she still wore. That hole was in _just_ the wrong place...

* * *

 **Please Review!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I don't own _The Rocky Horror Picture Show._**

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 **A/N: So, I've been watching the BBC miniseries _I, Claudius_. Not only has it got more-accurate than-average Ancient Rome and Patricia Quinn with a consistent accent... it's also got very young, pre- _Star Trek_ Patrick Stewart! Thanks for recommending I watch that (via private message - you know who you are). Also, I think it influenced this story somewhat. Sorry. **

**Another totally irrelevant thing: the people at the comic store are now calling me 'Trixie' (as in the Usherette) because my actual name is apparently awful (due to it's ties to a very twisted fictional character) and I've sort of turned them all into _Rocky Horror_ fans at this point. I wonder how long it'll last...**

* * *

Once she'd showered and dressed, Columbia went downstairs to the kitchen. Though she didn't actually get to the kitchen. Almost right outside the door, a certain crossdresser stopped her.

"We haven't spent much time together," Frank said, smiling at her.

"Well, only two nights ago-"

"I think we should go shopping today. As a special treat, since I haven't been able to do much with you. And you _are_ wonderful at picking out clothes for me…"

What a lie. Though she knew he was up to something, she tried not to let him know she knew. So she just smiled at him for a moment, and then spoke:

"I dunno… do you want to stay here for a while? Going to town seems a bit of a hassle, what with the people visit–" Suddenly, she stopped. "Oh God, I'm not supposed to know am I?"

"Who told you?" Frank asked, clearly furious.

"Well…"

"WHO TOLD YOU?" he shouted.

Almost all of the time he was always so charming, so seductive… then, quite suddenly, he'd shout and you'd fear for your life. It both terrified _and_ enthralled Columbia. Hypnotizing. Like the villainous vampire Dracula, as played by Bela Lugosi…

"Magenta told me," Columbia replied, smiling brightly at Frank.

It would've been nice to say that she looked up at him. But, in reality, he was about the same height as she when in his shorter heels. Today he wore shoes that were nearly flat. Columbia assumed that this was because his relatives were visiting.

"Is that so? Well, that's better than if it were her odd brother. You know, I really need an excuse to beat him that wont upset Mother. So tell me if he does something worthy of punishment," Frank said to her, now quite cheerful again.

"I will!" she lied.

"Good pet," he said, patting her on the head.

Though she knew it was silly, she _liked_ it when he praised her. He'd worked quite hard to train her in this way. Trained her to rely on him. A sort of back-up plan if she didn't develop Stockholm Syndrome (as it was later called). She'd be devastated if she didn't get a daily dose of his meaningless commandment.

Though she hadn't realized it at first, she was beginning to understand how dangerous it all had become.

So, after he'd wandered away humming to himself, Columbia began to _really_ think about things. About her life at the castle. Before she could really think very much, the kitchen door opened to reveal Magenta. Though it took her a moment Mags soon spotted Columbia sitting on the floor and leaning against the wall.

"I've made waffles, since I know you like them," she told Columbia.

"I've made waffles, since I know you like them," she told Columbia.

"Thanks," Columbia muttered, slowly standing up.

The girl walked into the kitchen. They often ate there together now that they really liked each other, cared for each other. Hardly a few weeks ago such a thing would've been intolerable. Funny how such things transpire…

* * *

Everything went well practically all day for our two protagonists, probably because their 'Master' was busy plotting out all the things that they could do once their visitors showed up. It annoyed Riff Raff terribly – _mostly_ because it was almost impossible to comply with all of Frank's demands. Disobeying him meant painful punishment and obeying meant going to Denton to be gawked at (among other things). Indeed, they spent much of the day shopping or complaining. As one would expect Riff did the former, while Frank did the latter

Magenta and Columbia were mercifully oblivious to it all.

They painted each other's nails, laughing at the nonsense they read in magazines, listening to Columbia's record player… behaved like two dear friends often do. Like two ordinary Earthling teenage girls at a sleepover party, as Columbia put it.

Then, before the boys were home, the heard someone knocking at the door.

"Who do you think it is?" Columbia asked.

"I doubt it's ze Master. He vould just barge in without such formalities," Magenta replied sullenly.

The two of them sat there for a moment. Columbia then shut off the record player (which had been playing _Space Oddity_ on a seemingly endless loop, to Magenta's annoyance).

"Maybe we should go downstairs and see who's at the door," she said quietly.

Magenta nodded. "Indeed."

Amusingly enough, she didn't like Columbia's taste in music. The only Earthling music she could bear was some of the older stuff from the previous century. Operas were the sort of thing she liked, particularly _Die Walk_ _üre_ (from 1870).

And so, the two young women walked downstairs and to the front door. Well… to the front hallway at least. Columbia didn't really go too near the door out of sudden, strange fear. What if the aliens hated her? What if they were green, bug-eyed monsters, unlike those already living at the castle? What if-

Then, Magenta opened the door. There stood a frightened looking teenage girl with bright red hair and a cruel looking man of at least his 35.

"Ah, hello Livilla! Where's Frank, darling?" said the man.

"My name isn't that anymore. It's 'Magenta' now, sir," Mags spat.

The man laughed a bit madly. "Oh, _right_ … after mummy and daddy died, you and that horrid brother were demoted to servants with weird names that don't make any sense…"

"It's good to see _you_ , Drusilla," Magenta said sweetly to the girl.

The girl – Drusilla - smiled sweetly for a moment. Then the man (Lord Dominus de'Lordy), grabbed her by the shoulder.

"This darling creature is mine for now. Though I hear her older brother Frankie-dearie might want some

"You fiendish, wannabe royal. Poor Dru needs a break from court life – and whatever they've been forcing her to do there!"

Now, Drusilla looked rather embarrassed. Columbia felt rather sorry for the poor girl by then. Clearly she wasn't being treared

"Ooh, you little bitch! I'll tell the Queen and Frankie-sweetie that you're rebellin' against the royal family, stupid serving wench!"

"You're not even part of the Royal family! You're some sort of stupid second cousin, while Drusilla is a princess!"

"Yeah, well you're a cousin too – a cousin who's been DISOWNED!"

Columbia realized that this was going to be the longest two weeks of her life. Caught in the middle of an awkward family feud of some kind…

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 **A/N: Good ol' Caligula had a sisters named Livilla and Drusilla, and a brother named Drusus - among other siblings. That's where some of the characters names came from. Also, there were only a few Roman first names out there, so many other history-people had similiar names.**

 **Please Review!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I don't own _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_**

 **A/N: So... I'm rereading a depressing book by Mary Shelley. Somehow I'd forgotten the fact that Victor wanted his creation to be 'beautiful'. Since Rocky Horror was a Frankenstein's monster built almost solely for looks, I decided to incorporate some of Shelley's ideas into this story. Hopefully it's not too far-fetched that Riff Raff's half sister kinda got him into 'creature building'...**

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Even before the 'boys' got home things were getting rather dangerous. There seemed to be a lot of hatred in the royal family. Columbia _knew_ she was still missing a lot of the story.

Why were they throwing things at each other?

'They' meaning Magenta and de'Lordy… of course. They'd been screaming at each other even since he'd appeared at the door.

Drusilla seemed to be quite frightened by all the shouting. So Columbia grabbed her by the hand and attempted to lead her into another room.

"Look, I half think they're about to kill each other. This doesn't seem to directly involve you, so maybe we should leave for a little while," Columbia whispered.

The other girl nodded. As Magenta threw various glass ornaments at de'Lordy, they quietly exited.

Columbia led Drusilla to Magenta's room. There, she sat down on her own bed. After a moment Drusilla sat down on Magenta's bed. The two girls stared at each other in silence for quite a while. Neither really knew what to say, you see. Finally Columbia realized that she should probably say _something_.

"No offense, since it's not your fault, but this 'family reunion' is going to be a living hell."

"Oh, but it's better than at court! Livilla - that is, Magenta - is the only person in the family who's ever nice to me. Well, her brother is kind... yet distant," Drusilla replied.

"To put it nicely."'

Drusilla was an odd person. Whenever she spoke, one felt as though she was telling them her darkest secrets. Indeed, she was dangerously honest. And prone to fits of nervousness that left her confined to her room for almost days. When she spoke her wide green eyes were alight with some sort of passion. Sometimes with a fearful urgency, a cry for help. Other times she was merely excited about a subject she liked speaking about. There were very few of those.

It made some people a bit uncomfortable. Columbia was one of those people.

"So, Drusilla... what do you do for fun?" Columbia asked.

Now her eyes were alive with the 'good' sort of passion. "Well, I like to read about the natural sciences. I've read all sorts of stuff by some of your planet's people. Have you ever read Cornelius Agrippa? I'm _fascinated_ by his works – primitive as they are. Of course, they aren't very practical. Yes, but it's good to see a historical view. This planet's people must have something more practical I can work with. Are there any graveyards nearby?"

"What do you mean, 'graveyards'...?"

"Well, I've got to get the bits _somewhere_. It's very nice to study the bones and stuff. Yes, study them. The dead can't hurt you or do things that you don't like. They're as trapped as I am. They're in boxes, which are much smaller than the palace. But the palace is like a coffin... I've got to escape. Yes, escape! And go somewhere with lots of graves with lots of bits to put together! My project will be to make myself a friend. Though she'll be a bit bigger than me so that she can protect me. She might look really tall next to me, since I'm rather short. but It'll probably take a lot of bones from different places, since they have a tendency to be cracked. Though I know I'll be measuring them to make sure she'd proportional..."

Now, the girl was in her own little world. Columbia really had no idea what she was talking about. The bit about 'the dead' sounded a bit creepy. At least Drusilla looked happy now.

It was sweet, really. The way the girl smiled and laughed and talked. Even though Columbia didn't understand a word of it. Finally, Drusilla paused long enough for Columbia to say something.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not much of a scientist… is there some project you working on right now?"

"I want to make an artificial person. If my calculations are correct, it only takes

 _Now_ things made more sense. " _Oh_ , I see. Like those movies about Victor Frankenstein and his creation."

"I suppose so. I've read _Frankenstein: the Modern Prometheus_ and have already figured out ways to avoid some of Victor's mistakes. He was mean to his creation and called him a monster – even though he created the poor thing! Oh, it's like when the adults treat you like your stupid. Especially if you can't understand how to talk to people the right way and understand why they laugh. They think I'm stupid, since I didn't do well in subjects I don't like. They also think I'm something to rent out to those mean noblemen, something to bribe them with!"

The poor girl was getting really upset by then. Her wide green eyes were now lit with strange, stomach-turning fear instead of joy. Columbia knew she needed to cheer the poor child up. Suddenly, she remembered something.

 _"_ There's a church within a few hours drive from here. I know they've got a graveyard with many graves for you too look at."

That sure brought a smile to Drusilla's face. "Oh! Will you take me there to see the graves?"

"Maybe," Columbia said, wishing that she could say 'yes'.

Despite the very concept of studying illegally obtained corpse being repulsive, Columbia wanted to let the girl dig all those people up. Drusilla was clearly being abused back home and it would do her good to have some for. Even if said 'fun' was frowned upon in basically every society. And probably illegal, come to think of it. Yet Columbia felt the need to make Drusilla's 'vacation' really special.

Even if grave robbing was involved.

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 **A/N: According to the 'edit pages' (or whatever their called) I've gotten another review on this story and a review on another story... but the reviews themselves aren't showing up. So if that review said something important I won't know until later. Sorry.**

 **Please Review!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I don't own _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_**

 **A/N: Hopefully this story isn't getting too strange. I know, it's _supposed_ to be about the relationshop between Magenta and Columbia. The 'guests' are supposed to add conflict between them. Though that isn't really working yet... **

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After listening to Drusilla talk for a while, Columbia managed to escape and go downstairs. In the front hallway Magenta was sweeping up broken glass.

"Where's everyone?" Columbia asked.

"Lord de'Lordy, Gaius Lucilius, Caius Livius and the Master are in the study going over plans for the next few weeks," Mags explained, scowling.

"Gaius and Caius… Those are the two noblemen, aren't they?"

"Yes. Both of them are aristocrats as well as writers. Gaius Lucilius is a writer of ridiculous fictions masquerading as truth, while Caius Tacitus is know for extreme accuracy. Well, extreme compared to most people…"

They stood there in silence for a moment. Then, Magenta realized something…

"Where is my half-sister Drusilla?"

Columbia smiled cheerfully at the thought of that girl. It was shocking that somebody so innocent and sweet was related to Frank.

"In our room. She settled in quite nicely once I began to talk to her. Drusilla is a very sweet girl, as I'm sure you know." Then, her smile faltered. "I promised something to her. And it's a promise I might not be able to keep…"

Magenta stopped sweeping and raised an eyebrow. "Oh?

"I promised to drive her over to that church down the road. It's got a nice graveyard, and that strange child really seems to like them for some reason."

"It's her 'thing', I suppose. She's always going on and on about how she wants to build herself a friend. For a while she wanted to make a replica of our father. Though I thought she'd grown out of it by now," Magenta explained with a weary sigh.

"She clearly hasn't. Though she says she wants to build a 'friend', not a father. Going by the pronouns used that 'friend' will be female."

Before Magenta could say anything in response to that, Riff Raff entered the room. In one hand he carried a tray of empty wine glasses, mugs, and other drinking vessels.

"Hello, my dear sister," he said, kissing her on the cheek.

"What's with the tray?" Columbia asked.

"I was to serve refreshments to the Master… and our _guests_. None of them had any interest in the Earthling wines in our cellar so I was told to put all this away," he explained sullenly.

"Speaking of our guests… when do you think we'll be eating dinner?" Magenta asked. "And is there something specific he wants me too cook?"

"Since the Master is going to be trying to introduce the guests to Earthling culture I think some samples of Earthling food would be a good idea," Riff Raff replied.

Mags nodded. "That makes sense. And if I'll make waffles he might forgive me for the glass – or, in the least, be distracted."

"Presumably. Though I think he'll be too busy explaining all sorts of things about this planet of his and it's incredibly unintelligent citizens to really notice the food…"

"Frankie doesn't own Earth," Columbia pointed out. "Nor is he an ambassador of any kind, since he hasn't spoken with Earth's governments."

Riff gave her a look. " _He_ doesn't know that. And, technically speaking, _he's_ the highest-ranking permanent resident of this wretched planet."

Without another word, he sulkily stormed out of the room.

Only one person in the galaxy could furiously storm out of a room while still walking slowly, and looking like a sleep-deprived Renfield on drugs. Riff was exceedingly proficient in the art of appearing vaguely evil whist sulking in the corner. An expert in such important skills like the monotone voices and subdued evil laughter! In many ways he resembled a certain humanoid frog-like creature with a birthday! Of course, in Riff's case there weren't any magic rings involved. No, he was just an expert at 'Igorness'.

"Should I help you cook?" Columbia asked.

"I suppose," Mags said thoughtfully. "Actually you should be looking after Drusilla. She's not used to being alone and I don't want her getting upset on her first day of the trip."

"Upset?"

Magenta sighed, rather melodramatically. "She's scared easily. Too scared to leave her room sometimes, actually."

"I wouldn't blame her. Things sound pretty crazy back home on that planet of yours."

"Indeed they are, Kitty."

Smiling at the use of that amusing nickname, Columbia rushed upstairs. Hopefully she wouldn't be forced to listen to too much more about graves and 'bits of people'…

* * *

Cooking dinner was... interesting.

The Master, De'Lordy, Drusilla, Caius, Gaius, Columbia, Riff Raff, and Magenta herself would all need to eat something. That was eight people! Though only the Master, De'Lordy, Caius, Gaius, and Drusilla would technically be allowed to eat at the dinner table. An exception could be made for Columbia since she wasn't part of any social class on Transsexual, Transylvania. The rules said that those of the lower classes couldn't eat at the same table as aristocrats on formal occasions.

Even if certain people were not to be sitting at the table they still needed to eat. So Magenta made a variety of foods. For the first course there was some sort of paprika-soup she'd found a recipe for (goulash). The main dish was pepperoni pizza that she'd secretly ordered and then prettily arranged on a platter. The waffles were served as a sort of side dish to the pizza. For desert they'd eat this fluffy thing called 'angel food cake' with a sort of brownish stuff called 'chocolate syrup' that Columbia seemed to like. Columbia had mentioned some sort of reddish fruit eaten with the angel food cake, called 'strawberries'. Since Magenta couldn't find that she replaced it with a similarly colored fruit (watermelon).

Soon enough dinner was prepared. While Riff Raff went searching for the proper wine, Magenta called everyone to the dining room…

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 **A/N: There isn't really any symbolism in the food they're eating. It's just random stuff that doesn't make sense to show that Magenta still doesn't truly understand many Earthling things. Though goulash sort of looks like blood. I guess that sort of symbolic of blood that might be spilled by various characters...?**

 **Please Review!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: Alas, I still don't own _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_. **

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**A/N: Thanks for reviewing chapter 11, FireandBloodandKittens! Sorry I didn't notice the review before. I hope it all lived up to your expectations! **

**I've got some really exciting ideas for this story that involve things like graverobbing, sneaking into universities in the dead of night, and references to Kubrick's films. Though I'm sort of worried that reviewers won't like that sort of story. So... tell me if it gets too weird/annoying. I'll try to keep the original premise sort of intact...**

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"But I don't wanna go to dinner!" Drusilla shrieked.

Her eyes were wider than usually – frightening so – and full of fear. It made sense that this poor child would be upset. No sane person would like to eat dinner with Frank. That was a fact that Columbia hated to acknowledge since it branded her as insane. Though she had a terrible time making descisions and everything she wasn't actually crazy. That wasn't relevant, though.

Columbia needed to find a way to keep Drusilla from being so upset. Or keep her away from somebody as corrupting. This girl was the sort of person who would not do well on his or her own. The sort too childish to make good decisions. The sort who had told a secret too soon and, because of this, never graduated high school!

Columbia briefly wondered if this was how she (Columbia) appeared to Magenta. It was likely.

That wasn't important, though. They needed to decide whether or not to go downstairs to dinner. Frankie might be annoyed if she wasn't at dinner. Of course, now he had quite a few more people with him. Though doing anything to provoke him could result in a number of bizarre punishments. Frank was awfully unpredictable, and having all these people visiting made matters worse.

For a moment Columbia contemplated leaving Drusilla alone in the room and going downstairs alone. But letting Drusilla out of her sight didn't sound like a good idea.

In the long run, _both_ of them going downstairs to dinner seemed the safest thing to do.

"I think we have to go downstairs. I'll talk to Magenta about you eating in another room or something at the next meal… but," Columbia said.

"Fine."

As they walked downstairs, Columbia began to feel rather ashamed. Drusilla was probably the same age as her – she looked it – yet she (Columbia) treated her (Drusilla) like a child. Of course, Drusilla was rather childlike when it came too behavior. Columbia assumed that it was due in some way to her horrid upbringing.

* * *

Dinner went shockingly well. Nobody got into a fight or tried to molest the person sitting next to them. Columbia was quite shocked. Weirdly, this was _Frank's_ fault. His talent for capturing attention actually did something positive for once. While he told everyone obviously false stories about fighting the primitive species that inhabited this strange planet and stealing/seducing one of their females (Columbia), nobody had the chance to fight/molest/do something else that was rather impolite.

Later, Magenta and Columbia returned to their room. Drusilla dutifully followed them, much to Magenta's amusement.

They let her sleep in Columbia's bed. At least she wore her own pajamas (one of the nightdresses she'd brought with her). Columbia's only set of pajamas was the horrid 'outfit that occasionally flashes people' (as Mags called it when annoyed at Columbia) that had become a running joke of sorts.

As soon as Drusilla had fallen asleep they climbed into Magenta's bed. There they held each other close – as if all that mattered was the feeling of being near somebody kind. They were the closest of sisters, the dearest of friends. Magenta was nearly everything to Columbia, who'd never really felt loved or cared for (at least since she'd been shunned by her hometown). Mags herself, on the other hand, saw this strange Earthling as something nearly as wonderful as her brother Riff Raff. That was _really_ saying something.

Sometimes the only person around was Columbia. At times – such as that evening – when Riff was being unjustly punished and Magenta wanted to be held by someone she loved, Columbia was who she went to.

Neither spoke for a while, as they lay there lost in thought. Of course, neither of them were really tired enough to sleep yet. Nor could they keep themselves from speaking!

"You're too nice to _my_ little sister, Kitty," Magenta muttered darkly.

"Well, she's very sweet," Columbia replied with a shrug. "And it sounds like her life is terrible at home."

"Yes. She's only 17, you know. And they already have a habit of… renting her to various noblemen. It's practically her job. Some of the really nasty people, especially Lord de'Lordy, talk about it all the time," Magenta replied, her tone more bitter than cyanide… colder than dry ice!

"Oh God. Are you serious?" Columbia said softly, though she knew the answer.

"Obviously. That _fiendish_ man has lusted after me for ages and she's basically a miniaturized version of me, so she's with him far too much of the time."

Columbia sighed wearily. "And you kept saying that you lived in some sort of near-perfect society… a utopia of peoples rich in happiness."

Magenta laughed humorlessly. "The ironic part is that it is practically perfect to everyone who isn't rich in money – well, more like anyone who isn't part of the royal family. Anyway, I think that the prostitution of my sister is part of the Queen's grand revenge scheme."

"She's insane!"

"Her son's worse, though. You've probably noticed that."

"Can't you figure out a way to leave?" Columbia asked.

"Look, if I tried but failed – which is very likely – Frank would kill me. That's just-"

"You're scared," Columbia whispered in shock. How had she not realized it before?

"I'm _not_ scared," Magenta growled. Columbia's words were far too close to the truth.

"You are, Doc. I can tell... though it's okay. Anyone would be in your situation. And I love you too much to ever mock you for it! Doc, I _love_ you! Do ya hear me, I-"

Magenta cut her off with a soft kiss on the lips. When they broke apart Columbia smiled quite happily. She smiled even more when Magenta then spoke…

"I love you too. Though not as much as Riff Raff, mind you."

The two of them kissed again, then both fell asleep quite quickly. They wished to escape from the deranged world they lived in. Ah, to escape into the world of dreams. Where nonsense rules all and no harm could come to them.

Too many secrets had been revealed that night. As had Columbia's breasts, thanks to her evil pajama top (it was conspiring against her, she _knew_ , since the buttons always undid themselves). The later was ever so peculiar… and the former quite ordinary.

How strange life at the Frankenstein place was!

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 **Please Review!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I don't own _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_**

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 **A/N: So... this is becoming very weird. Though people don't seem to mind that. Still, I'm getting worried that some of my ideas will be a bit too much. It's turning into a dark comedy. They sing upbeat songs while stealing corpses (to make into a 'creation') in this chapter. The song was written in 1979... but it was so fitting I had to be historically inaccurate for once!**

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The next day she got up early.

It wasn't what she was used to, but it meant she'd get more time to . As expected, Magenta was already getting dressed.

"Did I wake you up? It's still dark outside – and will be for a few more hours," Mags said when she noticed her friend sit up.

"Good," Columbia replied to Magenta's surprise. "I want to take Drusilla to the graveyard before anybody else is up."

Somehow, the sound of the word 'graveyard' woke Drusilla up.

"We get to go to the graveyard now?" Drusilla asked, smiling.

"Yes, we're leaving soon."

Though she didn't dare say it, leaving scared Columbia. There really wasn't anybody in the outside world she trusted. Somebody might know her! And what if Frank tried to 'rescue' her? The outside world probably wouldn't react well to Frank – _especially_ his sense of fashion…

Yet people do stupid things for people they love – or, in this case, the little sister of someone they love.

"I'm getting dressed now. Though I would go with you if I could, I've got work to do," Magenta told them.

Columbia chuckled nervously. "Right…"

Then, she walked into the bathroom to get dressed and fix up her makeup.

"How will we get there?" asked Drusilla.

"Well… I'm not so sure about driving, but the way to the church isn't far. And we _have_ got a few hours before the sun rises, so it's okay if we get lost for a little while."

"It's four AM. Two hours before sunrise, at least five before the Master gets up!" Mags called from the bathroom.

"Right," Columbia muttered.

"So we're going to the graveyard right now? How exciting!" Drusilla said with a grin.

Though it was nice (as always) to see Drusilla happy, the words of that statement sort of bothered Columbia. They'd be stealing dead people out of graves. Even if the corpses were those of it still felt wrong. And wasn't it illegal? Best not to think about it too much…

She also knew that Frankie wouldn't like what they were doing. Hopefully he'd be too busy entertaining the guests to realize that the girls were up to something. Or he might even be too busy thinking only about himself to notice…

"Hey, Columbia! We've got to get dressed now so that we can leave soon," Drusilla said.

With a weary sigh Columbia got out of bed. Then, she began to get dressed. Magenta had left by then and Drusilla had gone into the bathroom to change.

Columbia paused for a moment and stared into the mirror on the bedroom wall. The girl staring back at her looked like she always had. Yet Columbia _felt_ like she'd changed somehow. Not long ago she'd been afraid of the vampire-like alien Magenta. Now she was willingly taking Magenta's little sister to steal corpses. They really were like the Addams family. And now Columbia felt like she was one of them.

"Are we going now?" Drusilla asked.

"Of course," replied Columbia.

And so, the two of them got into the old pick up truck and drove away. To Columbia this felt like some sort of glorious act of rebellion. As if driving around in a car – while still intending to return quite soon – was a statement of her independence. It wasn't really. More like a statement of how devoted she was to her new 'family'. Yes, they were her family now. And, no, the people who raised her for the first 16 years didn't matter. That was when she was still called Laura Trent.

As they drove toward the graveyard Columbia was officially decided who she was (who she was to herself, at least, since a person is different to all others around them). She wasn't a foolish Earthling named Laura Trent anymore. Now she was Columbia the Transylvanian!

Once they actually got to the church property, they parked a few minutes walk away from the graveyard. Later, of course, they regretted this. It takes a lot of effort to carry a coffin or a body all the way to the car. Especially if two young woman were the ones dragging the cadaver around. Of course, years of dancing had made Columbia's _legs_ strong… but, alas, not her arms.

But they were too busy trying to figure out where to start to realize that.

"So… I've never done this… do we just randomly start digging or something?" Columbia asked, trying to let her disgust be seen by dear little Drusilla.

Drusilla laughed cheerfully at the young woman's foolishness. "We need to find a grave with a female inhabitant. Look at the gravestones and try to find a female name!"

Quite quickly, Columbia spotted the grave of 'Ms. Wilhelmina Henrietta Pratt – b. November 23 1887, d. February 2 1969'. She pointed this out to Drusilla.

After reading the dates, Drusilla wrinkled er nose in disgust. "Oh, she's too old. The bones might be good for study. The bones should still be there - all nice and uncracked - since it's only been a few years since her death."

"Okay," Columbia said, forcing a smile, "Should we dig 'er up?"

Drusilla nodded gleefully. "Indeed!"

They began to dig with some nice shovels they'd brought. Only after a little while they found the coffin. Though the flesh had clearly rotted away, the bones look nice enough. Like one of those medical skeletons you sometimes saw in classrooms. Laura Trent's science teacher had one in his classroom and he used to say it was a student who hadn't turned in their work on time. Columbia shuddered at the memory of that class as she looked at the remains Ms. Wilhelmina Henrietta Pratt. Though she now thought of Laura as a separate person, memories still remained.

Columbia was about to drag the remains of Ms. Wilhelmina Henrietta Pratt back to the car when Drusilla spotted _another_ grave to dig.

"Oh, look! She's got a daughter who died only a few days ago!" the girl said happily. "The daughter's named Sara Pratt. Born November 3, 1943 and died February 2, 1971. Oh, same birthday _and_ same death day – isn't that sweet?"

"Not really."

"I suppose that doesn't matter. Time to start digging again!"

And so, they again began to dig. This time Drusilla sang cheerfully as they worked:

" _Always look on the bright side of life! Always look on the light side of life…! If life seems jolly rotten, there's something you've forgotten! And that's to laugh and smile and dance and siiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnggggggggg!"_

"What are you doing?" Columbia asked.

"Singing a song. It seemed the right thing to do. I mean, it's rather frightening out here when the sun isn't up yet. And a nice song like that makes it less so."

Columbia laughed. "You're almost as weird and creepy as your older sister."

"Thank you," Drusilla replied, really believing it was a complement.

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	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I don't own _The Rocky Horror Show_**

 **A/N: It goes back to being more like the earlier chapters now. Though there _is_ a little bit more of dear Drusilla at first...**

 **Also, I hope Columbia isn't out-of-character at the end. Cursing doesn't really seem like her sort of thing... though I'm trying to make her seem like a teenage daughter of Magenta's for comedic affect. And to symbolize that she's not as grown up and/or sure of herself as she thinks!**

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They returned to the castle just before sunrise. The stars were fading and the moon already gone away. Columbia thought it oddly beautiful… this change from night to day. It was rather mysterious – like something out of a gothic novel. The mist that made it hard for one too see very far, the rather eerie silence…

As Magenta had wisely recommended, they entered the house via a seldom-used door half-hidden by the castle's garden. That was the door that led to a secret servants stairway that, in turn, led to the castle library.

Drusilla entered the house first. It appeared that nobody else was anywhere nearby. Good.

"All clear," she whispered to Columbia.

And so, the two girls carefully carried the corpses into the hallway. At that point they really began to notice the smell. As did Gaius Lucilius, who happened to be quietly reading _Foundation_ by Isaac Asimov in the library. He ignored the odd stench, of course, being unfamiliar with the scent of decaying human flesh. It wasn't like he even really noticed it in the first place, being so engrossed in what he happened to be reading.

Drusilla and Columbia managed to find an old storage area near the library for them to store the bodies. It was a small room with only one doorway. There were a few boxes in the room, one of which happened to contain many glass bottles.

"Do you think this would make a good lab for me?" Drusilla asked, smiling.

"I guess," Columbia replied.

Thanks to the teacher with the skeleton, Columbia didn't really like science. She planned to get away from this as quickly as possible.

"You can go get knives now," Drusilla said. "I'm going to cut Sara up and put her in these nice glass containers."

"Okay…" Columbia muttered, a bit sickened.

At least the corpses were still in their bags. Anyway, one was merely a skeleton. But Columbia still felt rather sick to her stomach. So she fled the room.

Drusilla was too fascinated by the bones she was examining to notice Columbia's repulsion.

* * *

Columbia ran and ran until she ran into something. That something was Lord de'Lordy. He was looking especially evil that day on account of the extra makeup he wore. This – combined with the devious expression on his face – bothered Columbia quite a bit. As if the nausea induced by the sight of that corpse wasn't enough!

"Well, well. The cutesy little Earthling Prince Frankie picked up."

"What do you want?" she asked, though she had a feeling she knew the answer.

He laughed an odd laugh. "Well, I _thought_ a girl like you might want a little fun

"What do you mean by 'a girl like you'?" Columbia asked.

"Well, the prince hasn't touched you in days!"

This statement made Columbia laugh quite a bit. She'd thought he'd been accusing her of being a slut when he was saying practically the opposite.

The sound of her laughter not only shocked de'Lordy into silence… it _also_ attracted tha attention of another person. That person was Frank, clad in a ensemble of

In Columbia's mind, the most important difference between de'Lordy and Frank was the fact that the former was repulsive and the latter highly seductive. Both were heartless bastards… but Frank was better looking and much less sane. Both those attributes were oddly positive in this case. It seemed that the less sane you are the more harmless you are – in the case of Transylvanians, at least. Drusilla was the sort of madwoman you wanted to lock in the attic, yet she would never heart a living being and was the sweetest girl you'd ever meet. Frank was a lunatic who didn't really care about anything that didn't directly involve him. This meant you could do also sorts of things without him even noticing. The only trouble with him was that he lived for pleasure. If watching you torn apart by tigers (specially imported from the local zoo) made him smile, he would do all he could to bring about such an unusual occurrence.

That day he seemed content with just meaningless sex. Though Columbia didn't really feel like it, it was better than something more creative.

When he was finished with her, he left the room without even saying goodbye.

"Bastard," she muttered bitterly.

Technically speaking, Drusilla was the bastard. But Columbia's words weren't to be taken that literally.

For a while she lay there in dull silence. She was cold (due to her state of undress) and tired (thanks to waking up far too early). So she fell asleep…

Sometime later she awoke.

Magenta was standing next to the bed looking quite annoyed. Since Columbia wasn't really wearing much one might expected a more positive reaction from the redhead. Of course, this wasn't the time for anyone to be thinking such things.

"Columbia, _what_ are you doing here?" Magenta asked, glaring at her friend.

"Frankie summoned me in here and I was so tired afterwards," Columbia replied with a shrug.

"Well, at least have the decency to get dressed. Now that the guests are here, there're _five_ people who haven't seen you naked vandering around zis castle! Five, Kitty, _not_ just one like before!"

Rolling her eyes, Columbia did as she was told. How it amused her that Magenta believed that Riff had never seen her without her clothes! Admittedly, he'd _accidentally_ walked in on her getting dressed. Close enough…

After she'd put on the clothes she'd worn earlier she left Frank's bedroom. There, in the hallway, stood her dear friend Magenta.

"Do _all_ your shirts have holes or something in them?" Magenta asked, raising an eyebrow.

Confused, Columbia looked down. Somehow the neckline of the shirt she wore had been torn at in a way that it was far too easy to accidentally flash people. This being Ohio, an area of the United States, it was unacceptable. If only they were all in England!

"I don't know," Columbia replied honestly. "Or care, in fact."

Mags "You probably should care since you live on this tragically prudish planet. Thought can't you find a way to keep yourself breasts covered? Such as wearing some sort of underwear that covers that. In ze latter half of their 20th century I would think all Earth-woman knew that it's a good idea to wear something underneath a shirt. It's as if you _want_ people to see certain bits of you, though it's taboo here! Are you trying to rebel against censorship or something?"

"Not really. It's more like I don't see an issue with it. You guys are a bunch of strange aliens from a very liberal 'fuck-who-you-want' society, so why do you care?" Columbia was already in a bad mood, and this sensible argument against her nonchalant feelings regarding clothing only made matters worse.

Magenta sighed theatrically. "Kitty… _what_ will we do with you?"

"Well, since you're a fellow female, _you_ might li-"

"It was a _rhetorical question_ , Kitty," Magenta said, clearly not amused.

"Oh _…_ "

* * *

 **A/N: I think the last bit was more about** **Nell Campbell than the character Columbia (who she, of course, played). You know, I've always wondered how she always managed to make her clothes fall off in a way that seems accidental. Wait, that last statement is incorrect. The entire universe knows it's intentional... _and_ nobody seems to get that annoyed. And does she wear specially-designed clothes or something equally bizarre? Why doesn't she get arrested or something, come to think of it? I think the answer to the latter is that foreigners (i.e. Australians like Nell) can get away with weirdness 'cause they're foreign. Maybe it's a talent mystically gifted to actors who act in strange films that sort of don't make any sense (in a nice way).**

 **This author's note became sort of creepy _very quickly_...**

* * *

 **Please Review!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: I don't own _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_**

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 **A/N: So I've 'plotted' a bit more of the story. There will be a number of exciting things happening to the characters soon enough. Of course, I have to make certain things happen before that so it makes sense (well, as much sense as this story ever makes).**

* * *

Later that day, when the two girls were back in Magenta's room, Columbia realized something. Drusilla had asked her to find some knives for the chopping-up of poor Sara. Of course, she'd never gotten around to finding said knives…

Now that she thought about it she realized it was best to at least warn Magenta that the knives would be missing from the kitchen.

"Mags?"

"Hmm?"

"Your sister asked me to find a few knifes to cut up the corpse we, er, acquired this morning," Columbia said awkwardly.

Magenta closed the book – well, play – she had been reading. It was a tragic piece, entitled _King Lear_ _,_ written by a certain Mr. William Shakespeare.

"Is that so?" she asked.

"Yes."

"Well, we'd better go buy some knives. I am _not_ letting her use my kitchen knives! I take pride in my cooking and I hate the idea of her getting bits of that wretched corpse she's found all over the utensils. It'll make the food taste horrid and it's ever so unsanitary."

"I'm sure she'd wash the knives," Columbia pointed out.

Magenta sighed. "Yes, it's still gross. And knowing her she'll want to keep the knives for quite a while… ugh, why have I become some sort of housewife? Talking about all this… I feel like your Mother and Drusilla's mother. I'm getting old, I think, being everyone's mother."

"You aren't getting old, you aren't much older than me," Columbia replied.

"I _meant_ that I feel old. Looking after everyone is very trying. Actually, I feel like the only sane person around. You're sort of sane… but my brother hasn't been with me much as usual. I'd think he was seeing somebody else if I didn't know he was being forced to help entertain the guests…"

"You need a break, some time to spend with Riff Raff," Columbia said thoughtfully.

Mags nodded in agreement. "Indeed I do. Away from you – no offense intended – and that deranged sister of mine."

"Right. Why don't you start sleeping in your brother's room? And I can look after Drusilla, if needed. Make sure she doesn't get into too much trouble-"

"Thank you, Kitty."

Without further ado the redheaded alien left her room. Though it was rather silly, she planned to spend all the time she could with her beloved brother. Ever since Columbia's initial invasion of the house they'd been growing apart.

Quite soon Columbia regretted that conversation. She didn't realize how much she relied on her friend. But let's not think about all the mad things that happened to Columbia over those days of 'independence'. First, let's see all the lovely things that Magenta did…

* * *

Once she'd left her room (for it was her room, despite what Columbia seemed to think) she went to her brother's room. It thankfully wasn't too far from her room.

That room was oddly famliar. She'd never really been in it before and looked around. Though she _had_ been in his room in their family's part of the palace they'd grown up in. And they lived together after they'd been 'demoted' to _Genus Servus._

Somehow, Magenta realized, she'd forgotten how his room looked. Yes, she spent some nights there… but she hadn't properly looked around then. The lights usually weren't even on then!

Unlike Columbia, Riff kept all his clothes folded properly in a dresser. There wasn't anything on the floor except his extra shoes. It was almost _unnaturally_ tidy, and sort of looked like the room of a bachelor without enough money to _ever_ marry. With its grey walls, grey floorboards, and that one light bulb hanging from the ceiling… it looked rather somber. The whole thing gave of the impression of poverty – the numbing sort, as endured by those who have enough to rent an apartment yet survive on the most meager of rations. The only actual items of furniture were the ironframed bed, the dresser, and a table with wobbly legs. Rather out of place in an over-furnished mansion.

Sadly, _he_ wasn't there. Such a thing was understandable, it being mid-afternoon at that point. So she decided to go looking for him in all the random rooms of the ground floor.

There was the library, the study, the living room, the ballroom...

Gaius was (still) in the library reading Asimov. Nobody was in the living room or the ballroom. Finally, she came across him sulking evilly in the shadows as Frank hosted some bizarre sort of social gathering called a 'tea party'.

That was another peculiar Earth thing Magenta didn't understand. They'd all drink tea – which she found quite awful – while chatting cheerfully and eating small scones. It made even less sense that the Master would like such a thing!

Magenta walked right over to her brother.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"Well, Columbia-"

"The glittery earthling?"

"Yes. She's decided that she doesn't need me around and that she'll keep track of Drusilla so that I can have a break. I'll be staying in your room now, if you don't mind," Magenta explained.

"Why would I mind that?"

Then, he kissed her. They did that secret handshake of theirs – the one they'd made up as kids that everyone laughed at them for. They forgot about the other people in room, though. It was just them lurking in the shadows.

Everything went quite nicely for them. At least we can say that. Columbia, on the other hand…

* * *

 **Please Review!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: I don't own _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_**

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 **A/N: So, now that the character Magenta isn't around, we shall see how badly Columbia does without her...**

 **And, yes, I know that nobody would really mistake Dr. Scott for Dr. Strangelove (that weird guy from Stanley Kubrick's extremely dark comedy film of the same name). He's got a different sort of German accent, for one thing. Yet I just thought it would be sort of funny. And Columbia would've seen that film in 1964 - about seven years before this story takes place.**

* * *

It was very late at night when a rather strange person climbed into Magenta's room via the window. He didn't appear to be wearing shoes, yet his footsteps still woke Columbia up very quickly.

"Before you start asking questions… it's just me, Gaius Lucilius. I'm here to rescue you!"

"What do you mean by 'rescue'?"

"Er, nothing… I just thought it sounded cool. I'm a writer, you know..."

"Why did you climb through the window?" Columbia asked, much too tired to for this nonsense.

He shrugged. "I thought it was dramatic. But that's not the point. When I was in the library reading yesterday, I heard somebody crying. It was Lady Drusilla. Apparently this corpse she'd dug up was too old and mushy. She wasn't able to save any of the organs for studying."

That's when Drusilla herself awoke.

"Do you know where we can find more corpses?" the girl asked.

"Better. I know where to find corpses _and_ chemicals to preserve them in… I've gone into town a lot, you see, and there's this university there. That place has a really great science department, you know. And I think that midnight is a great time to sneak into that place!"

"Ooh, can I go?" Drusilla asked, suddenly very cheerful.

"Ask your sister," Columbia replied, trying to be the responsible one.

Drusilla sighed. "My sister is asleep in my brother's room. I think it would be mean to just wake up her at this time of night."

That's when Columbia remembered her promise. She'd sworn to look after Drusilla so that Magenta could have a little vacation of sorts. Now she was furious at herself.

And Drusilla was making the 'sad puppy' face at her…

"Fine. We'll go."

And so… the three of them drove to the university. Well, Columbia drove. Nobody else knew how. Though Gaius _did_ try to give directions. After a number of wrong turns they finally found there way to the university.

Columbia parked the car a few minutes walk away from the building in the hope that they would be less likely to be caught. There were only a few cars in the actual parking lot, you see.

"How do we get into the building?" Drusilla asked.

"Through this doorway, here," Gaius replied, pointing at a nearby door.

The two girls followed him towards it. Of course, it was locked. Yet Gaius somehow had the key. So he unlocked it and quietly ushered them into a hallway lit only by a flickering security light of some kind. At least Gaius had (somehow) brought a flashlight with him.

Columbia found it even creepier than the graveyard. That had been outside in the early hours of the morning. So there was at least some light and the sound of various animals could be heard. Here… there really wasn't any light and it made Columbia feel really claustrophobic and it was so dark that she was afraid a murderer might bash her on the head like in the pictures and now she was holding onto Drusilla's hand and trying not to cry like a little kid. Columbia did not like the dark.

The only sound was the sound of the shoes the three of them wore. Yet Columbia kept hearing something else – or so she told herself. Whispers in the shadows, wheels turning, octopus…

 _Finally_ they got to the classroom Gaius had a key for. It too was awfully dark… until he turned the lights on.

 _Now_ Columbia could see everything. They were in a large room with lots of. To Columbia's horror there were lots of things floating in jars or something. Some looked like dead fish that still had their eyes – her worst fear – and some looked like bits of dead animals. And then there was something _in a box_ that looked suspiciously like a human kidney. It had a letter with it.

"I think I'm going to be sick," she whispered, leaning against the doorframe.

"Then you'd better leave the room," Gaius said.

He handed her the flashlight and let her sit outside. There she waited in dull silence. After a while she heard Drusilla happily shout: "I found the vinegary preserving-stuff!"

Columbia really didn't want to know what that meant. So, she tried not to think about it. Tried not to think about anything, actually. That didn't work.

At least she now knew what the normal people in science fiction b-pictures felt like. They were terrified of the mad scientist characters, even if the mad scientists weren't really 'bad guys'. It didn't matter – all the dead things-in-jars were so gross. Now she could truly sympathize with the fainting ingénues or pitchfork-wielding townsfolk. Not that she actually _needed_ to know what they felt like…

As she was starting to zone out, fall asleep, she heard something. _Wheels_. A person in a wheelchair was approaching.

"Ach, _vhat_ is going on?" the person said, his accent clearly German.

She couldn't help but think this person reminded her of someone. Somebody from the pictures, maybe?

Cigarette.

Wheelchair.

German accent.

Who was it he resembled?

A wheelchair-bound ex-Nazi recruited during Operation Paperclip sulking in the shadows whilst smoking a cigarette and wearing very reflective glasses.

In her mind that all added up to mean…

" _Doctor_ _Strangelove_?" Columbia squeaked.

* * *

 **Please Review!**

 **Speaking of reviewing... people haven't reviewed the last few chapters. Is that because this story isn't any good anymore. I admit that the character Drusilla is a bit strange, but this (seemingly) sudden lack of reviewers makes me worry that there's more wrong with this than her. Is it because this is getting too far from the original premise?**


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: I don't own _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_**

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 **A/N: 'Dante O'Kichi Gusfen' is basically a fictionalized version of a real person. His name is a switchy-letters-thingy (I think that's called an 'anagram', though I'm to lazy to look it up right now) of a hilariously vulgar phrase (it includes the word 'fucking') that hints at who he really is. Review and tell me if you figured out the anagram (don't mention the person in a review, since I want people to figure it out on their own!)...**

 **...or just review anyway! Please?**

* * *

The person wheeled closer to Columbia. It soon became apparent that they were too old and too frumpily dressed to be Dr. Strangelove. Of course, Strangelove was a fictional character. But it was very late at night so perhaps Columbia can be forgiven in her mistake.

Closer and closer the person wheeled. Finally he stopped right in front of Columbia and glared at her through his glasses.

"It's very late at night and you don't look like von of my students. Or _any_ of ze students. Vhat are you doing here?" he asked.

"What are _you_ doing here, 'Dr. Strangelove'?" Columbia asked. "As you said, it's the middle of the night!"

Then, before he could reply, there was a great crackling of electricity. Quite suddenly the entire hallway lit up. Once her eyes adjusted to the light Columbia saw a man standing nearby.

He was tall – about 6'2 – and strangely thin. Though his face looked as lined as that of a 60-year-old, there was an air of youth too him. His dark eyes were solemn yet alert. Though she didn't know it, he was _much_ older than he looked. Inhumanely older, in fact!

"Dante. Vhy must you do zat zing vith ze lights?" asked the German in the wheelchair.

"I like electricity. I like how it's all sparkly and bright, and all the fascinating sciene that goes into making it. You know that. I love science, inventing..."

"…And pigeons, vierdo. Yet zat doesn't explain vhat zis girl is doing here!"

"This young woman here drove a friend of hers here this evening to meet me. Her friend, though not a student, has some very interesting ideas for a project. You know how I hate when inventions go to waste."

It slowly registered in Columbia's mind that this guy was saving her from lots of trouble. He also looked weirdly familiar. Maybe he was somebody famous…?

"How do I know zat I can trust you on zis? Vhy shoulnt I zink zat you're starting to vork on ze Death Ray again. Ve told you _no_ Death Ray!"

A rather petty expression appeared on Dante's face. "Oh, Scott. First you tell me I can't build my Death Ray and now you say I can't help students? What a sad man you are, depriving others of their favorite hobbies!"

"I'm not depraving you of a hobby, Dante," the German replied darkly. "I'm going on one of my evening valks. Goodbye."

And so, the wheelchair man wheeled away. Columbia was left standing there with the odd professor man.

"Ah, I believe I haven't properly introduced myself. The name I call myself these days is Dante O'Kichi Gusfen - though I prefer to be called 'Mr. Dante. I have become a friend of sorts with Mr. Gaius Lucilius, and was told that he'd meet me in the biology room. Presumably you're his ride?"

"Yes… I drove him here," Columbia replied.

"Well, then. That probably means I must learn your name. Would you introduce yourself, please?" Dante asked.

She chuckled at his overly polite manner. "I'm known these days as Columbia – though, not so long ago, they called me something else."

"Ah. The both of have been renamed out of strange necessity, I see."

The two of them stood there in a sad silence for a moment. Then, Dante realized that he was supposed to go talk to Gaius and Drusilla.

"Excuse me, Miss Columbia," he said as he slipped away.

Now that the lights were on she wasn't scared. That 'Dante' guy was really nice, as far as guys go. And clearly a virgin!

* * *

Drusilla and Gaius – the former taking notes on science books she'd found and the latter jotting down story ideas involving spaceships going 'boom' – were quite surprised when Dante showed up. Only Gaius knew the man.

"Ah, Gaius! Is this Drusilla?"

"Yeah, "Gaius replied, nodding.

This confused Drusilla. "Who are you? And why do you know _me_?"

"Only because my friend Gaius mentioned you once or twice. Apparently you're a scientist interesting in a field I've begun to study. It's why I invited you all here, after all."

Drusilla couldn't picture Gaius being the friend of an actual scientist. "You're friends? How…? Why…?"

Suddenly, Dante looked sad. "I befriended him because he reminds me of an old friend of mine. A dead friend, in fact."

"Oh," Drusilla whispered nervously.

There was a moment of melancholy silence. Then, Dante cheered up a bit.

"I'd better show you to my study. It's got big all these lightning-makers and many other sorts of wonderful things! I've been figuring out how to make a false person with my lightning machines!"

He said this in a manner very much like Drusilla's. This enthusiasm of his for electricity mirrored hers for graverobbing. Not to mention they both disliked sex, alibi for different reason (he thought it kept one from being a good scientist, she was haunted by years of harassment and abuse). Oh, what good friends they'd be!

Columbia, alas, was left out of this. More and more she wished she hadn't let Magenta have a break. In this deranged world of mad science and aliens she needed Magenta. Well, she needed that woman anyone. She'd shown Columbia how to be okay with herself and confirmed/accepted the pink-haired groupie's bisexuality. Worst of all, Columbia was begging to fall for that woman.

Though she was already in love with Frankie the Crazy Crossdresser. Maybe loving a sane person would distract her from that love. So it wasn't all bad… probably.

"Rose tint my world," she muttered, after she'd returned home from the university.

* * *

 ** _Please_** **Review!**


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: I don't own _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_**

* * *

 **A/N: Thanks for reviewing, FireandBloodandKittens. Private message me if you figure out the anagram and/or who 'Dante' is! Speaking of that character, he's not the only 'real person' in this story. The reason I wrote the character Gaius is so that there can be a 'somebody goes back in time and replaces famous person they've unintentionally killed' subplot. **

**And I'm sorry that I keep stopping/restarting this story. I've been really stressed lately and have been having trouble writing anything good or thinking of ideas.**

* * *

Things were not going well for Columbia. The next day she was awfully tired. At least was reading some books Dante gave her, and therefore wasn't in anybody's way. The book Dante had lent her - _A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court_ by Mark Twain - was actually really entertaining. But Columbia still wished that she hadn't told Magenta to leave. That was really the problem. So far she hadn't even caught sight of the redhead.

Halfway through the afternoon, on the day after the visit to the university, Columbia was sulking in the hallway near the library when Gaius Lucilius approached her.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

He laughed nervously. "Well, Miss… nothing. I just noticed how sad you seemed and wanted to cheer you up. I too am unhappy much of the time."

"Really?" Columbia asked, not believing him.

"Sort of. Sorry, I always exaggerate things. Real life is so boring, if you ask me," Gaius said with an odd smile. "I shall never forgive the gods for making it impossible to have sound exist in the vacuum of space?"

"Why would anybody want _that_?"

"Aw, can't you just see it? Starships – really big ones, with lots of lasers and stuff – shooting at each other. Then one goes 'kaboom!' and there's all this fire. Now, in real life that wouldn't work…" Now he looked sad.

They stood there in the hallway for a moment. Then, he suddenly grabbed onto her wrist and stared at her – his darkish eyes alive with strange excitement.

"Come to the library. I've something to show you there!"

Not really sure what else to do, she followed him. When they entered the library Columbia was surprised to see nothing out of place. Nothing new.

"Gaius? What's going on?" she asked. "What's this thing you're going to show me?"

By then she was tired of being messed with.

"Patience, kid. I'm a playwright, you see. And I'm writing an epic play for the Queen, since she likes that sort of thing and it'll earn me some money."

"Why do you need me for?" Columbia asked.

"Oh, just to read through it with me. Another point of view, opinion."

Columbia nodded. "Okay… read it. Please."

"So, I'll by explaining… have you see _Flash Gordon_? Its from the 1930s, and its really awesome."

"Yeah, I've seen it," Columbia lied, not wanting to let him down.

That sure made Gaius smile. "Great! My play is basically that plus _Foundation_ by Issac Asimov. Now, the main-"

The sound of the library door creaking open cut him off. There stood the fiend named Lord de'Lordy. He picked up Gaius's script and began flipping through it.

"Gaius… you can write this shit, but you sure can't say it," he said cruelly. "Why're you torturing the Earthling with it, anyway?"

As if protecting it, Gaius snatched the script away from de'Lordy

"It's not _that_ bad," Columbia said.

Lord de'Lordy tore the script out of Gaius's hands. "Yes it is. The Queen won't ever want to hear such disgusting nonsense!"

Then, he stomped out of the room.

"I'm sorry," Columbia said.

Gaius sighed wearily. "It's fine. A writer must learn to deal with rejection."

"Everyone must learn to deal with rejection," Columbia replied, remembering how she felt whenever Frank was annoyed with her.

At that very moment she felt especially alone. Magenta was nowhere to be found, Frank was busy 'entertaining' (as he put it), and even Drusilla happened to be working on her project at the university.

"What's wrong?" Gaius asked, noticing how quiet Columbia suddenly was.

"Nothing. Well… I was just thinking about people."

"People?"

"Yeah. Do you know where Magenta is?"

He pondered this for a moment. "I think so. That is, she's been hanging around the second floor lately. I think it's her brother's room."

"She's just been hanging out in her brother's room for the past few days? No wonder the foyer is so dusty!" Columbia exclaimed.

Then, somewhat to his confusion, she dashed out of the room.

Columbia rushed up the stairs. How had she not realized it before? Of course that was where Magenta had been all this time. It only made sense.

Without really thinking she burst through the door. There on the bed, in her usual uniform, sat Magenta. She seemed to be reading a book.

"I thought you vere giving me a break?" Magenta said darkly.

"Well… I can't. That is, without you I'm lost. Before I met you I was some sort of weird self-loathing mouse or something! By 'mouse' I mean 'person who's really squeaky-voiced and cowardly'..."

"Your voice is still squeaky," Magenta pointed out, somewhat amused.

"Yeah, but I'm not cowardly. Well, not _as_ cowardly… what I'm trying to say is-"

By then Magenta was getting rather impatient. "Vhat?"

"I love you," Columbia said, _really_ meaning it.

"I know," Magenta replied.

That wasn't exactly the response Columbia had expected. Could've been worse, though…

Mags could've slapped her… shouted… _laughed_ even! But she didn't do any of those things. Instead she kissed her. It was a nice kiss.

The world made sense again.

* * *

 **Please Review!**

 **A/N: This story is now over 20K words! And hardly half-finished, I think. Like** ** _Life (Not) at the Frankenstein Place_** **it might turn out the length of a novel! That would be awesome.**


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: I don't own _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_**

* * *

 **A/N: I'm attempting to complete this story. It's the longest incomplete story I've posted. Of course, it's only half-finished...**

 **Hopefully it's good.**

* * *

Only moments later they'd returned to Magenta's room – well, _their_ room. By then it was just as much Columbia's room as it was Magenta's. They both sat down on their own bed, as they often did. Things were normal again.

It was then that Magenta realized something. "What did you do vith my sister? She isn't here, I've noticed."

"There's this university nearby and one of the professors is helping her work on the project," Columbia explained.

"I would like to meet this… professor."

And so… that evening the two young women snuck out of the castle and into the university. This being the second time Columbia had been there she knew where Dante's 'lightning switch' was.

The lighting light buzzed to life. It crackled and sizzled not far above their heads, making Magenta nervous. The fact that it was painfully bright didn't really help matters.

"Why does anyone need zat much light? _Vhy_?" Magenta asked.

"He's a very interesting person, the man who installed that."

At that very moment, the 'interesting person' of which Columbia spoke exited his office. As always, he was dressed quite stylishly. Well, stylishly by early 20th century standards.

" _Salve_!" he said, happily, when he saw them. "It is lovely to see you again, Miss Columbia. Who is your friend?"

"Magenta. Her name's Magenta," Columbia replied.

"Ah, what a fascinating name. Presumably you're Drusilla's sister?"

"Yes, I am."

The three of them stood there in silence for a moment. Dante was the first to speak: "I'm working on an interesting little project with Drusilla. Though it might seem a bit strange, we're very proud of the work and I don't want you saying anything bad about it. Now, it might shock you – especially you, Columbia, since I know you're less used to this sort of thing."

Both young women nodded solemnly.

Pleased at such a reaction, Dante then led them into a nearby room. It was dark there – at least when compared to the hallway – and a therefore bit creepy. Once Columbia's eyes adjusted it was less scary. Still, she gripped her friend Magenta's hand as if that would keep her safe from the… _thing_ … in the tank.

It was there in the center of the room. A clear box or tank of some kind, the size of an average coffin. For reasons unknown to Columbia it _glowed_. There seemed to be some sort of liquid inside it. Something vaguely blue that was murky at best, opaque at worst. The slightly humanoid shape that she could sort of see suspended in the liquid only made matters creepier…

Across the room was a door that Columbia only noticed one it opened. In walked Drusilla, looking _very_ serious.

"I'm sorry, Miss Magenta and Miss Columbia, but now that you've gotten to see Drusilla's project I think you'd better leave," Dante then said.

Once they'd stepped back into the hallway, Magenta turned towards her friend and have her a Look of annoyance.

"Is _zis_ vhat you've been letting my sister do? I zought you vere keeping her _out_ of trouble!" Magenta said, shaking her head.

"She's having fun and she's nowhere near the castle. It's the best I could do!" Columbia replied with a dramatic sigh.

They stood there glaring at each other for a moment. Then, Magenta's expression softened slightly.

"I missed you, Kitty," she said quietly. "Yes, I said zat earlier. But I needed to say it again because… because I must."

Then, Magenta kissed Columbia. Apparently they'd forgotten where they were for a moment. Columbia in particular should've realized that Dr Scott – or Dr. Strangelove, as she called him – often wandered the halls and might see them. Not to mention that it was early evening at the time, so many people were out and about.

Thankfully, the person who came across them wasn't actually a stranger. It was somebody they'd only met once. It was Eddie, the pizza boy!

He wore a beat-up leather jacket, motorcycle boots, a plain tee shirt, worn jeans, and carried a motorcycle helmet in one hand. His hair was styled messily, though quite like a '50s greaser. That's what he was, really. A 50s greaser born a decade or so too late!

"What're you two gals doin'? Not that I'm offended by this kinda thing, but my Uncle is an' he's somewhere around here…"

Once the two moved away from each other, he realized who they were.

"Oh, I know ya kids already! You're that cute gal who lives with the drag queen in that castle. And you're that servant, the real shady one. No offense, but you're really kinda scary…"

This, for some reason, made Magenta laugh. Columbia just blushed.

"What are _you_ doing here?" the latter asked, after a moment.

"Looking for my uncle. He works here, ya know. One of them scientists. He's always telling' me I should be a scholar like him but I never will be. He's always bossing me around… he can, ya know, since I live with him and don't have any money of my own. Sorry, doll, I always rant like this! Gee, my coworkers _hate_ me for it."

Columbia began to pity him. Poor kid wanted freedom from authority – that is, adults responsible for him – but didn't seem to have anyway out.  
"Vhy are you looking for him?" Magenta asked.

Eddie laughed, almost bitterly. "I wanted to buy a new record an' he's in charge of all my money. Now, that's sorta because I used to go and buy drugs when he wasn't looking… but I've been sober for a while now!"

"Is that because you don't have a way of buying any controlled substances?" Magenta asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Probably."

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	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: I don't own _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_**

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 **A/N: Thanks for reviewing, FireandBloodandKittens! **

**I'm sorry that this chapter is rather short. I'm also sorry that my recent writing hasn't been that good... and that I've been lazy. I really need to work harder! I used to be better/quicker at this (or so it seems).**

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For _some_ reason, they ended up bringing Eddie home with them. Columbia was behaving like this young man was a lost puppy and Magenta didn't want to argue with her friend. There wasn't any real purpose to him going to the castle, at least not a _sensible_ purpose.

Even Eddie himself wasn't really sure why they'd invited him to the castle. Not that he cared, really. It would be nice to, er, _see_ that odd man who'd ordered pizza not long ago.

The three of them entered the castle through a servant's doorway. It happened to be the same one used by Drusilla and Columbia to bring the corpses in. They walked right by the library.

Gaius, who happened to be in the library as he often was, heard their footsteps. Though he hardly paid attention. No, too busy working on one of his writing projects.

Up the stairs and into Magenta's room they walked. Only moments after, there was a knock on the door. Riff Raff was there looking for his sister.

For a very brief amount of time Eddie and Columbia were left alone. That hardly mattered since they didn't speak. When Magenta returned she announced something that really mattered.

"Though I'd forgotten earlier, today is 5 Kalends Iunius. That means today is my birthday," Magenta explained. "Zhis means I probably deserve presents, zough I doubt I'll get anything from you lot _or_ ze Master."

Columbia rolled her eyes. "Well, I might've bought you something if you'd told me. And I'm sure we can find you something by the end of the day. A cake, in the very least."

"You aren't allowed to use the oven without me helping," Magenta pointed out.

"What's the date on according to an Earthling calendar?" Columbia asked, trying to change the subject.

"May 28 1974," Eddie replied.

"It's not 1974. It's 1971," Columbia said. "At least… it was 1971 hardly a month ago!"

Looking _very_ worried, Eddie handed Columbia his wallet. "Look at my motorcycle license. It says it was issued in 1972, expires in 1982, and that I was born in the year 1954. Do I _look_ like I'm still 17?"

Horrified, Columbia turned to her friend. "Explain this, Magenta."

"Explain _vhat_?"

"This! Frankie brought me here in mid-November of 1971. It's apparently been about a year and a half. What's going on?"

Magenta sighed wearily. "I vill explain later, Kitty. Right now zere are more important things to deal with. We need to do something about Eddie."

"Such as…?"

"Vell, ve've got to figure out vhere to keep him."

"Don't talk like that, Doc. Eddie's not a dog or something. He's a person!" Columbia replied unhappily.

"You know… I'm standing right here," he said awkwardly. "I can hear ya."

Columbia blushed in embarrassment, while Magenta just rolled her eyes.

"There's an extra room next door to this. Ve can keep him there for a while. Or, in ze very least, until we notify ze Master of this new arrival. Zat vill be tomorrow I suppose."

"Is that okay with you?" Columbia asked Eddie.

He nodded. "Sure. I'm just grateful for ya guys lettin' me stay here. And anythin' is better than living eith.

Columbia seriously doubted this, though didn't say so. It would be interesting to have another Earthling around. Though the fact that time was going faster outside the castle scared her so much that she didn't want to think about the outside world…

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Quite a while later, after eating dinner and giving Eddie the leftovers (Columbia really was acting like he was a stray dog), the two girls went back to their room to sleep. Well, that's what they were _supposed_ to do there. Though they were both so tired that they weren't tired.

"We need a girls night," Columbia said.

"Vhat does zat mean?"

Columbia giggled. "Just have fun for a while. We could paint our nails, play Ziggy Stardust records, watch a movie..."

Now Magenta was also smiling. "Can ve watch _Dr. Strangelove_?"

"Why?" Columbia asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Drusilla said that you kept calling one of the university scientists that. I want to know why," her friend replied.

And so, after convincing Riff Raff to make their television work, they began to watch the movie. It was very strange, and Magenta wasn't sure what to think of it. There seemed to be two plots going on. One was about an airplane full of military people and the other abort governments blowing up the world. Practically all of the dialogue sounded suggestive if you listened for it – and Magenta did. Apparently these prudish Earthlings could say such things. The character's names were especially amusing. ,

Eventually the world got blown up while love-scene music played in the background. Really not the sort of humor one would expect from Earth, though exactly what a Transylvanian might like. It was very clever, too. And Magenta understood all the political/cold-war things because she'd had to study recent history before arriving on the planet. Anyway, the castle's odd relationship with time and space had meant she'd lived through some of that history.

"I never like that movie. Too depressing," Columbia said, after the screen went black.

"I think it's funny, Kitty. Who knew Earthlings were capable of so much sexual innuendo? And the plane re-fueling at the beginning was _very_ attractive."

Columbia had a feeling her friend was being sarcastic – or, at least, joking in _some_ way or another. Though she couldn't figure out what wasn't meant seriously.

Then, Magenta remembered why they'd watched the movie in the first place. It was for her to understand why . Now she did, at least. It was due to the wheelchair and them both being ominously German.

Then the both of them went to their beds, to sleep. Between 'adopting' a stray 1950s greaser-delinquent to visiting the university… they were tired.

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 **Please Review!**

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 **Note to specific person who _might_ be reading this: ** So, a few friends of mine were at a photo-taking RHPS thing last weekend and the separately ran into the same person. They told her about my stories, and she seemed interested in reading them. "Oh how extraordinary," she apparently said. If that person is reading this I'd like to know what they think of it. Please send something to my gmail email: Sciencefictioncat

I really want to know what she thinks, if she did read it. Though she should tell me something about conversations she had (with one of the two friends who spoke to her about fanfics) so I know it's really her. I hope she reads this. I always want to know what people think of my stories! (Usually via reviews, though)


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